Words of Wisdom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Words of Wisdom
19
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 7:40am
I thought this may be a fun way to get us thinking this morning....

cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 8:49am
Wow, this should be an interesting thread to read.

The first thing I have said (to my uninformed employee who is messing around on his girlfriend) is that you should never, ever, ever get involved with someone who thinks they have nothing to lose. He's finding out I'm right as a one night stand tracked down his number and has called in the middle of the night a few times. Luckily, his GF wasn't there.

Two possibilities: if the person is blinded by affection and is sure that even if *you* got caught, in the end you'd dump your H/W for them, they perceive nothing to lose; they expect you to go with them in the end, no matter how angry you might be at their indiscretion. The other is the kind who think if they can't have you, why should anyone else be happy. Those people are even more dangerous because they'll get you at all costs or destroy your life trying.

If you don't have the ability to accurately read other people at least to a practical degree, don't even think about getting involved. And even then you'd better be prepared for a nasty surprise.

In the words of Sharon Stone (who I believe was paraphrasing someone else)-- "Never f*** anyone crazier than yourself."

rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 8:50am
Remember that it is what it is - an Affair - and don't try to make it into something it's not - a "normal" relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:41am
I'm going to have to say that (and this is in my case, not speaking for anyone else):

Always remember that even if it ends, you were blessed to have known and love someone special, blessed to have a connection that nobody (not even their W) has had, blessed to have someone to share your most inner feelings and have them share theirs, and to know that no matter what, they cared and maybe even loved you.

For me, my A was and always will be the most intense and confusing time of my life, but also the most wonderful outlet for "getting to know myself" in a way I never thought possible.

I have said this before, and I will say this again - I feel like a very lucky woman to have had two (H and xMM) great loves in my life.

Thanks for letting me share

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:42am
Red,

cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:54am
hi nry. what a beautiful day this is!!

my words of wisdom - relax and enjoy the ride! it does get bumpy sometimes, but all in all, buckle up and hold on tight because the car's going fast, the breeze is blowing your hair around and you're with the one who makes your heart race! ummm, ummm, good!!

;-))))

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:59am
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Edited 4/25/2004 8:36 am ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:16am
hey jules -- i can agree AND disagree with your words of caution because i can confide in one friend with absolute abandon, but totally not so with another "friend." so i'm one for making sure that the one you feel you can totally confide in will always have your back, no matter what! and that means, if you know all of her dirt, then she can know yours, because you are both on equal footing in the friend relationship. otherwise, just don't do it.

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:27am
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Edited 4/25/2004 8:36 am ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:12am
I would say :

Enjoy every moment of it, but remember - it is what it is. Remember that until the day that you are NOT the OW, you ARE the OW. Keep perspective.

(I am of course completely and utterly rubbish at doing this myself - but this would be my words of wisdom to others!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:21am

I'm typing this before I read everyone elses, so please forgive me if I write what's already been said.


If you are going to enter into an affair, make sure you do so with your eyes open.

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