Worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Worried
5
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 8:34pm

As I've mentioned in other post both mine & my AP's M's are falling apart. Actually, mine derailed & train wrecked years ago and I'm just trying to

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
In reply to: jdgirl03
Thu, 01-01-2009 - 2:59pm
When you say do something that she wants him to do do you mean hit her? She is the one hitting him, he can easily call the police and file a report and use that future reference in a divorce. I think he is showing alot of restraint by leaving and spending the night in his car. Noone can MAKE you hit them, when you raise your hand to someone it means you lost your sense of impulse control.....I know you are worried but this is his situation that he has to deal with....it doesn't sound like he's really doing anythng about it at all. what are his intentions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
In reply to: jdgirl03
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 6:03am

He wants out but like me and probably many others stays because of kids & money. Works opposite shifts so they have as little contact as possible - hangs out with his friends - anything to avoid.


And I realize no one can make you do something - but I've been there and anger can sometimes override common sense and good judgement and get the best of you.


Haven't talked to him in 4 days but will talk to him today - hopefully things have calmed down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: jdgirl03
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 1:47pm

wow...she may be trying to bait him maybe not...maybe that's her way of dealing with the frustration of being in a relationship with him.....there's no excuse for her hitting him...


he may want to just remove himself from her proximity when she gets violent...and it may get to the point where he may have to call the police....God forbid....


he is grown and has the know-how to make decisions and chose not to react violently to her...just keep that bug in his ear....


i hope all goes well for him....and you too....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
In reply to: jdgirl03
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 2:51am

Just wanted to let you know as other have stated, he can call the police on her. All states have domestic abuse laws in effect, and the police DO NOT play when it comes to domestic violence. They will lock her up w/o hesitation if he calls. It's very important that he file the first complaint. If she gets it into her head to file a false domestic violence charges against him (and I have seen this numerous times) when he finally does press charges it will look like a vindictive move as appose to a legitmate claim of being in danger. His claim will not carry any weight w/ the courts. I am serious he needs to file a domestic violence complaint against her before it is too late. He doesn't have to wait for the next episode to happen. In my state you can go to the commishiner, and file charges against her, and they will issue a bench warrant for her arrest.

Best wishes, because usually once a M reaches this point it only gets uglier w/ time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
In reply to: jdgirl03
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 1:28pm

We talked about it today - she went off again this time he told her to leave and go sit in the car in the driveway and sober up that if she didn't get out he was going to call the police on her. She did and he said he kept looking out the window to make sure she didn't