Worth pursuing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Worth pursuing?
6
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 1:09am

I'm 33 and considering an A (although I guess on some level it has already started).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 4:05am

" Is it worth seeing where this leads or should I save myself from an emotional rollercoaster and stop things before they start?"

Definitely, do the latter!

It breaks my heart because I know you will continue with the affair regardless of what anyone says. I been there too, last year, asking the same very question you are asking.

Trust me - run as fast as you can AWAY from this man! If you haven't even met in real life, you still have time to get out. Don't let it escalate because the 'signs' are all there - he's using the same, old "lines" MM tell the OW; 'my marriage is unhappy', 'I got married for my daughters sake', 'I'm staying because of my children', etc... which most likely are all lies because they're so common.

I really don't want to see you go thru what I am going thru now. Please read this message board and the archives to understand how painful an affair is.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 8:21am

Gal,


Is it worth considering? In a word....no. Most people on this board will tell you that. But you are considering it or you wouldn't be here.


Luckily...you still have a chance to listen to the 2/3 part of yourself that is saying, "Whoa!".


Trust your instinct and protect yourself from pain. He's already told you he isn't leaving his wife. That he put a limited timeframe on that boundary is only a technicality.


He's defined the rules up front. Do you want to risk your heart in a relationship where someone else is making all of the rules...rules that could break your heart or cause you to question your sanity or self respect?


He won't even be living near you so I have to ask, "What is in this for you, gal?"


We tell you this because we care and we know you deserve better. I hope you know it too.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 8:28am
i have to concur with whats been said already. NO, stop it now and look for someone you can be with all the time, not someone in a relationship already. you will be living your life in limbo if you pursue this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 2:25pm

You can do two things here,either go for it and learn to deal with its ups and downs ,the best you can or stop it altogether.What if after 3-4 years he doesnt leave for some other reason?

(( hugs ))good luck in whatever you decide.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 5:25pm

Just going to add to the chorus of "No's". I cannot tell you how many times someone has posted the same thing about leaving in three to four years. Honey? Save yourself the headache. If he is really serious and you are still available, then he can find you in three to four years when he has divorced.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 8:24pm

Thanks everyone for your replies.