Would love advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2008
Would love advice
8
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 11:08pm
Hello. I am new here to this board. I was very happy to find it. I am not sure of the abbrevations and will do the best I can. I have been married for 11 years. I have been unhappy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 11:18pm
I'm so sorry, Becca.
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2008
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 11:38pm

Hi !! Thank you for your fast response and support. I want to make sure I was clear that the tension I mentioned is because AP wanted more and felt like I kept saying it will happen soon and nothing would happen. He expressed to me he

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Wed, 12-03-2008 - 11:49pm
Well hang in there, Becca.
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 10:16am

Hi Becca,


You might want to check out the EAS (ending affair support) or AAS (after affair support).

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 12:52pm

Hello. Thank you for the reponses. I will post

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 1:52pm

Not that this is a bad place to be either, everyone is so supportive on all of these boards!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 2:56pm

We don't recommend you leave your M for a man. It's usually not a good idea. You had an affair for a reason and until you really take a good look at that part of yourself and understand why you made the choices that you made, you're likely to repeat the same pattern no matter who you'll end up with.

Your AP is doing the right thing. He does not want to be the reason you found courage to get a D. That spell to him your neediness to cling and/or lean on someone too much instead of being a whole strong person who can stand on her own two feet. Who knows, he could have gotten cold shoulders too.

If your M CANNOT be salvage then go ahead and get a D. Become a whole strong person by yourself (instead of just hanging around and waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue you) and any man who comes along in the future will be a nice supplement to your already fulfilled happy life.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2008
Thu, 12-04-2008 - 6:40pm

I do appreciate your response. I am not sure if I described the situation incorrectly. I am not leaving my M for another man. The marriage was clearly over before AP. I thought I stated that. My AP is not the reason it is over and he knows that. I had an affair because I was in a marriage that was over. It is not a pattern I would be repeating because there is not more to figure out except a bad marriage.