Would you leave if given the chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Would you leave if given the chance?
24
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 12:39pm
Just wondering how many of you would leave your marriage, if the other person was willing to embrace the relationship on a full time basis?

I feel like I may be the only one!!! =-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 4:18pm
I would never let myself think about it until we discussed the emotional side of our relationship. Although it took a very LONG three years to get there, once we were able to do that, we were able to figure out rather quickly that together is where we want to be. He has never been married so that simplifies matters quite a bit. There are no children involved either. It seems complicated as it is, so I really empathize with those of you that have all those other difficult factors.

I guess I was waiting on the "L" word before I was willing to entertain ideas of us together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 11:42am
Bunny Here:

I would leave in a heart beat......I love my MM so. I have

never, never felt like this with someone before in my life.

We also have no kids, either side, which seems to make it

easier, in reading the other posts with kids.

We are just taking one day at a time together, and will see

what happens. We are only in 8 months together..petting

no IC but terrific OS (oral).

We both love our freedoms we now have, and a deep trust in each

other. We are now in the content stage, but of course that

roller coaster could start again.

Just one day at a time, and enjoying it.


Bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:24pm
I would definitely leave, I have not been happy for a very long time, I just need to be sure I'll be OK if I do leave.

Soleil

Avatar for fortysomething727
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:27pm
In a New York minute! If only.....!

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 1:28pm
Yes, I would leave...and I tried. Confessed the whole affair to dh believing he'd agree that it was best to split up. But he pretty much begged me to stay, go to counseling with him, etc. Between that, the 9 years and 3 kids that comprise our marraiage, and my faith/religion, I agreed to stay and end the affair. This decision is only a couple of days old so I am still in a lot of pain, missing OM so.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 6:59pm
The same thing just happend to me. W found out, I confessed everything, expecting the same as you did - get out now! But it didn't happen. Now I don't know what to do. I still see MW and fortunately or unfortunatley (depending on how things wind up) she is pretty much the woman of my dreams. However, I can't leave for her. I have to assume she will not be there for me. My kids mean soooo much to me I can't bear the fact of not living with them. On the other hand my marriage is a disaster and can't be helped. This is so freaking sucky!!!! I'm going lose my mind and end up being broken hearted all at once. Can I like go join the Foreign Legion or something???
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:43pm
hi there. maybe in my fantasties, but in real life, no way jose. i seriously can't imagine changing my entire life for OM, even though i care deeply about him. maybe i'm just too old to start over again.... ah, but the fantasy life is hot and happy!!

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:53pm
hi lost and hope -- you both struck a chord in my heart! i'm sorry you both feel so stuck and hopeless in your Ms. i guess you figured confessing about the A was the perfect way to get out of it, but that really did backfire, didn't it.

the only thing i can say is that you both have to sit down and really honestly talk to your respective spouses and tell him/her how unhappy you are and have been and it will not change, just disintegrate further. an A is a sign of the underlying unhappiness in any R, not the reason to end the R.

bite the bullet and really be honest. yes it will hurt, but a clean break is soooo much better than dragging that broken arm around for another year or two.

best of luck to both of you.

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 1:29am
Thanks, I did that too. It's not the first time W has heard that. She just doesn't give a sh&*. When I see that kinda response I know there is no hope for my M. What is down-right killing me is that I have fallen in love with MW. I have not told her this explicitly, but all the signs are pretty much there. She has to know, I don't see how she couldn't. I just don't know what do. I will do anything for my kids but how much should one endure? I wonder if I'm just being selfish or is it really the right thing to do (leave that is). I was feeling half-dead before MW came along. I was a little leery of what may happen - that's why I consulted this board so I knew full well going into this what to expect. Trouble is, I really didn't expect this - that is, the piece of ass I was chasing turned out to be an extremely special person and friend that I somehow know I could spend the rest of my life with. I never felt that way with W. Never. Such is life is suppose. I'm using the "Well at least I have my health" anecdote right now to get me by, but it isn’t helping much. Man does this suck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 1:49am
I would in a heartbeat!