Would you take your AP home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2012
Would you take your AP home?
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 2:08pm

Not sure if anyone else has read this NY Times article, it's about using the 'marital bed' in As: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/13/garden/13cheat.html?pagewanted=all

I thought about this as it relates to my own situation because my AP has been to my house but I've never been to his. It's not as practical to go to his house and ironically I think I would have mixed feelings about seeing photos of his family up on the walls.

When in a PA there are obviously limited options though, and it's not always practical to go to a hotel. 

While I get that it may seem especially disrespectful to your spouse to bring an AP home, I personally don't think the location makes the betrayal any more or less; although clearly lots of others would disagree.

Just curious how other people feel about this and interested to know what other people do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2012
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 7:00pm

I think ,  lot of people get off on having sex on marital bed with their lover . But in reality , I dont think  the location  really matters where you do this  .Its wrong to do it , anywhere .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2012
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 10:28am

Not sure why, I know that it for most men it is kind of a turn on...you know the feeling and excitement of sneaking in...to do in a woman's home/marital bed. But my advise is stay away from that (unless you want to be discovered) because it is a receipt for being caught!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 8:32pm

hmm...interesting article! never had to deal with this issue b/c my affair started when my STBX and I were living apart, and now I am living apart from him again as part of the divorce process. But I would say if AP did come to my house...I don't know if I could use the 'bed'...I'd probably try to get a hotel, or something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 10:31pm

Had a situation once where I was asked by a MM to come to his house while his wife and kids were at work and school, respectively.The real reason was that he wanted to save money on not paying for a hotel. I would have normally said, "No way", but there was this curiosity and excitement about being in his home. We did not do anything in their bedroom, but I was in the house and I did see pictures of him and his wife.

Ironically, after that day, I broke things off with this guy. The realness of being in the home actually contributed to the demise of that affair. I wonder if he would have pushed the issue of me coming to his house if he knew that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 9:04am

I have made love to my AP at his home.  Just was a whole lot more comfortable.  He's never been to my home.  There just hasnt been an opportunity.