Would you trust him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Would you trust him?
32
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 10:54am
This question is for those who would like to marry their OM/MM (not everyone would). Suppose you had that opportunity. Given the nature of your current relationship, would you trust him not to do to you what he did to his wife? Never, always, only under certain circumstances? Why or why not?

Could/would he trust you? Again, why/why not?

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Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 11:18am
definitely trust him, 150%. Our relationship is just very different from what he has with his W. Communication is very important to us and we talk about EVERYTHING much of which he does not even talk about with his W. We both thoroughly understand WHY we are with the other person and we both know we communicate more and better than he does w/ his W (can you tell i think communication is important LOL)? We have been through more in our little A than most people go through in years and everything we have talked over, he has always been there for me, he is always willing to tell me how he feels even if he it's hard for him or me. let's hope he comes to me in the "end" and i'll have my chance to see if it really work.... but i know it would ;)

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 11:46am
Yes, I do trust him. I think this is a one time thing for both of us (it better be, or else ha-ha). Its totally out of place to for me to be with somebody who is attached. I never ever considered myself to be in a position I am in now, considering my upbringing. I know it is for him too. I know we will make it too but I think it will take a lot of effort. It doesn't matter as long as we are on the same page on major issues. I think we do.
Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 11:51am
Well, even though I adore my MM. I would not want to marry him. The way I look at it is why spoil a good thing. The other question is Could he trust me:):) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:05pm
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:46 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:14pm


This is exactly my response, too. My MM is way too possessive for my long-term tastes and even in our EMA has had a difficult time dealing with the fact that I had quite a few lovers before I got married. Flattering to some extent, but definitely not something I want for the long run!

 

ItalianPisces

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:17pm
I understand where you're coming from. I have to say other than the fact that my MM is cheating on his W with me, he truly is a Great guy! He loves to cook, runs errands for her and is very attentive. Our relationship started out as friends, and then went to the all about SEX level. We have now come to the point it's not only about the sex (even though that’s a wonderful and important part) it's about our special friendship and the bond that has formed. We both love the fact that we have our "pillow talk". We confide in each other and talk about the gossip with-in our circle of friends. If I had of met him at another time in my life I would have probably dated him and maybe would have fell hopelessly in love with him. We're not young; we know where we stand with each other. I love that about all this, no demands made and none taken! Life's GOOD:):):) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:37pm
I feel like you nomoreregrets...if I had met MM years ago, I definitely could have fallen 'head over heels' for him and married him. But now it's an impossibility, so I don't think too much about the trust issue in that respect.

It's a good question though...

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:45pm
OMG, NMR, you really are my twin!! so totally true, it's me not him (MM or BF). i can't be trusted and that's why i will never marry again. no point as far as i can tell.

gurl

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:48pm
You kill me! Maybe you are my long lost twin sister:):) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:51pm
if i had met MM long ago, maybe, just maybe we would have ended up together, but who knows! MM is possessive and somewhat jealous, but keeps it in check with me since he is not my primary relationship. but i've known him for 8+ years and though i'm attracted to him, i don't want a future with him, it's too much work and we both have too much emotional baggage.

it's a little depressing to think about, but i really don't think MM and i would be good together on a permanent basis. however, the here and now is EXCELLENT!

gurl

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