Is this wrong?
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Is this wrong?
| Fri, 07-23-2010 - 3:55pm |
Hi, I'm new here with a few questions. I've been lurking around reading and have decided to come forward. I met a guy through business. He was nice (married) as I am. Went out for drinks gave me a sob story that he was in a sexless marriage, no passion, complained about the wife, etc. One night we went out and ended up making out. I told him I'd sleep with him (my husband and I have an open marriage) For the past year, he's been playing mind games with me. Yes, let's do it then no, let's not. I recently found out from a friend that she's had an affair with him, confessed to falling in love w/ him and that he's a serial cheater. She warned me about him. I told her I have no desire to sleep with him. Well, I ended up sleeping with him and told her. When she asked me why I told her I was sick of the mind games and that he sleeps with everybody else so why not me? What's wrong with me that he doesn't want me? Well, he wasn't that good and I may or may not sleep with him again. I told my husband. He said fine, you did it once like you said you would, no more. Do you think I can just leave it at one? I told my friend I can do it and not get emotionally involved (like she did) Do you think I'm kidding myself?

Hi Mandasjoy and welcome to MAS! I am a little confused by a couple of things.
You say that you have an open marriage, but your husband said "no more" now that you have slept with this other man once. Is that typical in your relationship - that it is just a one-time thing, or do you usually have more of a relationship or friendship with other men?
You say that you slept with him and "it wasn't that good". So...if he plays mind games and the sex wasn't that good...why do you want to sleep with him again? Is it a power kind of thing where you want to prove that you can sleep with him multiple times and not develop feelings for him? Maybe beat him at his own game almost...
I think I would steer clear of him...anyone who has been playing mind games for a year with you...going back and forth about whether or not he wants you...and someone that a girlfriend has slept with and she says he's a serial cheater....I don't know...he just sounds like Trouble. With an open marriage, you can probably find someone who will rock your world in bed...and not play mind games and mess with your head.
Just my .02 cents worth...I may be completely way off base...that's just my thoughts.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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That being said I might sleep with him again, I might not. I do believe I could teach him how to be better in bed. My main question is: Is it possible for a woman to keep sleeping with a friend and NOT get emotionally attached?
Do you want to teach him to be better in bed? Do you want to spend time with him and have an A with him?
My opinion...I would chalk it up to an OK experience in the bedroom and not let it go any further. With an open marriage you have the opportunites to meet men and bed them if you want to...why not wait until there is a real attraction with someone and then worry about if you want to do it again?
I would definitely steer clear of the "serial cheater", who uses the "I am stuck in a loveless marriage" line. JMHO...
Hi Mandasjoy,
Welcome to MAS
It seems like your already emotionally attached to him and why do you want to take out the energy to teach him to be a better lover? I don't think he's worth the time or energy that your putting into him but hey that's entirely up to you. He's a serial cheater and your setting yourself up for your feelings to get hurt.
I'd leave him alone if it were me but then again look who's talking ;)
Wishing you all the best!
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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