wrote my nice knowing you email

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
wrote my nice knowing you email
17
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 7:05pm
Hey Everyone,
I am feeling pretty bad right now. The SG I thought I was going to have a FWB AP is done. I hadn't heard from him in awhile and decided I deserve better than this. If he had decided he no longer wanted it, he could have been a man and told me instead of (once again) running away. I've told myself he's a nice guy and doesn't mean to be mean but you know what? That is baloney! Why allow an excuse? I am worth an explanation. Why make excuses for his behavior? So, I wrote him an email that it was my last and since he was not talking to me again and since i had no idea why (again) I was not going to contact him because the last thing I want to do is bother him. I told him I hoped he was well and to take care. I refuse to go out without dignity! Yes, of course I wanted to tell him he was a selfish thoughtless, inconsiderate, immature jerk but what would that accomplish? I want to be able to hold my head high if we ever run into each other. I knew I wouldn't get a response back and did not expect one. Says a lot doesn't it?
It makes me sad. It hurts my feelings and I really liked him as a person but I decided I could no longer hold on to a maybe or what if. The last thing I want to look like is a hanger oner. Sometimes girls, it really sucks doesn't it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 12:13pm

oh, yes it can really suck ! I must of wrote three or more good bye

“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:19pm
Thanks for your reply. He did this before. he disappears, runs as I call it. I don't speak to him on the phone, only through email. I will be returning to the state he lives in a month and know I can go to where he works and see him if I choose. I think what hurts the most id he doesn't even say goodbye-he just disappears with no explanation at all. Not sure why when I've told him I am very easy going and we agreed it was a FWB type thing. Also he kept initiating contact an d was one who chased me. Just doesn't make sense.
Anyway, thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad someone did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:42pm

never mind.. who am i to give advice.. i just slept with my ex !


“"Truer words were never spoken -" Ah, but true words leave hearts broken! Truth is only for the wise - Lovers ought to stick to lies”

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:48pm
What makes you think he'll be back when he is going NC even when I sent him the email? Believe me, I have never pressured him, nagged him or bothered him. He showed no sign at all of no interest and then goes NC for no apparent reason. It is bothersome to me as I feel if you have a problem you should have enough respect and consideration for the other person to tell them how you are feeling. I don't feel that is a lot to ask.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:35pm

I've been a lurker here for a while already. I have an AP that I have been with for about a year now. He does the same thing to me, he disappears no goodbye, no anything. The first time we were together for about two and months when he disappeared, I didn't call him or look for him, then about a month later he called me again and we picked up right where we left off. That lasted about a month when he disappeared again, I was a mess, about a month later he called again and again we picked up where we left off. We've been together for about six months now, but everyday I fear that it will be the last day that I hear from him. Your AP will call you again.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:52pm
He just contacted me now. I am in shock. Why do they do this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 10:06pm
I wish I knew why exactly. I think I know why my AP does this, I think because it's easier for him to get back together with me if there are no harsh words or a breakup involved we just pick up right where we left off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 10:32pm
The question is why do they feel they have to run or disappear in the first place? Is your AP single as well? I have never put any pressure or expectations on mine although a little consideration would be nice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 11:37pm

A little consideration would be very nice. He leaves me very puzzled every time he does this and it puzzles me even more when he comes back. The times when he has done this I ask him why he does what he does and all he can say is "I don't know" and "I'm sorry, I won't do it again." My AP is single, and I have always told him I would never hold him back from finding someone else, just let me know, but I know he won't, he'll just disappear again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 8:47am
the MW here with SG's who are doing the disappearing act are flaky and taking you all for a ride just becuause they can.imo,they are playing around with other women ( the disappearing time) and when they need a break from them,they show up to you ( disappearing on those other women).if you send 'goodbyes', they act normal because they want to keep you on the hook when they are disappearing on other women.believe me when i say this.
i am SG with Mw for 22 years on the clock now and never just disappeared.
also believe me when i say that these sG's are not being sincere to anyone,not even themselevs and will fall on face but its not your job to be there for them.they are big boys .if they can juggle few women at the same point of time,they can handle themselves as well,hopefully ,but they cant but again,no your job.they get what they deserve in the end.

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