This Is For xxx trouble/Others Too!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
This Is For xxx trouble/Others Too!!
2
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:15pm


xxx trouble,

Hi, I saw your reply to the post "LOL! More News", which btw congrats on the grandchild and you new found knowledge for your D nomo.

Anyway, you asked for specific answers about your situation which happens to be almost exact to mine. I already had my D final (I divorced my H because of the M NOT my (X?)MM)2wks ago, but I am on the backburner because MM is intending to leave his W. I will say that I am learning to go about my business and heal after my D and to help my children heal, so I have a lot to keep me busy and I try to STAY busy so I don't obsess. I did tell my MM that the only way we are to ever be a couple again is to see proof and that proof is a signed divorce decree with BOTH signatures.

That said, if you go to the "Ending An Affair Support" (not that yours is or anything, I go back and forth between boards which has given me tremendous strength from all the posters), in the General Discussions section WHICH you will have to "click" towards the bottom where it says "more", you will find a post called "Question for NRE". It had only 2 replies BUT the second reply I think you should definitely read. The post was directed at one of the men on the board and the 2nd reply was from him and I think most of your answers will be found there. I have printed it out and it has given me in the last 2 days so much strength which I have needed so very badly. This is what a man "thinks" and goes through, at least this man did, and I choose to believe more men think the same. Good Luck and let me know what you think.

MidnightBlue

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:49pm
Hi Everyone,

Just trying to keep this post upfront so it could be beneical to anyone who reads it.

MidnightBlue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 2:54am
I have talked about some of this stuff with MM. We never had a hard time expressing our feelings to eachother. He always uses the word inevitable! The divorce is inevitable ! He has known it was over for a long time. He does not except change good . The drastic change of events that life gave him has pushed the change on him ! with no choice he has to deal! The last time we talked he said he had to do it this way with the( on hold for me )or he would not make it! He is very weak right now! I want to be there to help him. He doesn't want my help! He tells me he owes me enough! Maybe I helped him too much! I just know that I love him . I miss him. Guess if he truely cares about me , which he told me he did last time we talked., He will be back. I just hope he contacts me soon, the limbo he has stuck me in does not seem fair to me. I was hoping he would get stronger as the days went by. That he would take one problem at a time and conquir it. Go on to the next ect... But seems like life just keeps throwing things at him to deal with! If he does not get stronger from this, He will probably be broken forever! I want him strong, not broken! I don't know if any of this makes sense to you , but had to vent it anyways. The post was good. Did give me a bit of insight.

thanks