Yada, Yada, Yada

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Yada, Yada, Yada
11
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:55pm
Help me, please. Am I the other woman? What should I do about this? I'm am one F*#@&ED duck!!! This is the deal...

When we first met, he was well on his way to a divorce. They were separated and barely speaking to each other. For crying out loud, he even bought his own house and moved out (that was even before we met). So I began seeing him while (at least I think that I am right) he was pretty much single and free to date whomever. So my dumbass falls in love with him, and we are spending all of our time together, and then poof! The wife finds out he's happy with someone else, someone much younger, and she says that she's changed her mind and that she wants to try and make it work out. I knew from the beginning that the idea of breaking up his family devastated him, and to be honest, I actually encouraged him to try to make it work out with his wife if the opportunity arose. So they have been going to marriage counseling but he's still living at his new house and she's still at her house. Meanwhile, I can't seem to pull myself away from him, even though all of the circumstances surrounding our relationship have changed. He goes on trips with his wife and spends time with her, and he won't even take me out to dinner out of fear that someone will see us and tell his kids or the wife.

I have tried to be as gracious as possible... His wife had the gall to call me up and ask me to return the jewelry he had given me for my birthday, which was pretty expensive (about 3K). Even though I loved my gift and I had never owned anything that beautiful in my entire life, I decided to return them, except instead of giving them to him, I gave them to her with the stipulation that she return them to my MM and explain to him that she had asked me to return them. Her request came six months after she thought our relationship ended. She thinks that I don't see him anymore, but I do, so of course I told him what she had asked of me. I returned my gift to HER almost 5 months ago, and she still hasn't returned them to my MM! And yet he keeps on going on with her, knowing that she hasn't told him yet. I am not the gold-digging type or anything like that, but I really loved that gift, and I hoped that years from now, I would be able to open up that velvet box and remember the man who made me feel alive for the first time in my life. His wife totally stole that from me and I am really upset by it.

Anyways, I am sorry to rant and rave but I think I just reached my breaking point today. I didn't sign up to be the other woman, but if that is what I have become, its no one's fault but my own. I can always leave him. I just don't. So am I THE OTHER WOMAN? And what do you all think is going on here? Am I destined to get the shaft (and not in a good way) if I continue on with this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 6:41am
No way is he sleeping with both of us!!! He tells me he's not but I make that he can't by... ahem... well, let's just say he's more than taken care of in the sack. But anyways, I am pretty polite person and I just didn't want to step on anyone's toes or hurt anyone. But now I am kind of resenting all that I have sacrificed for him. I need to be strong and just get the heck out of our relationship.

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