Yogachick
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| Tue, 09-16-2003 - 8:34pm |
"Could remaining involved with a seemingly permanently married guy be your way of protecting yourself against ever committing to a man who might turn out to be abusive? Perhaps you want to keep your relationship JUUUUUST out of reach of being "real" so that he can never "disappoint" you?"
I am very happy to say that that is not the case for me. I am not afraid of becoming involved with an emotionally abusive man again. Because of who I am today, it could not happen. Who I was when I was with my xH, that person is gone. That person just wanted someone to love and take care of. That person wanted to avoid confrontation at all costs, so she allowed her xH to control it all. I fight for myself now. Even with MM. I don't allow him to set all the rules.
Myabe it's more a learning how to be independent thing. I have depended on men in my life for so long. All of my life until now really. It's easier to deal with the part time lover when I am on the freedom high. I think it's more that right now.
I want nothing more than a permanent relationship with MM. My rose colored glasses have been off with him for a long time now. I know he's not perfect. But he would not disappoint me. Has he left his W? No. Will he? I do not know. I have no idea what the future will bring.
Thanks for giving me some things to think about Yoga. I am kind of up and down on some of your opinions, but I really do appreciate the sentiment behind it. Thanks!
CFH

But I do have to wonder still, why you would be involved with someone who has made a lifelong decision to be with someone else when what you are looking for is a lifelong commitment for yourself....People do not always do what will get them from point a to their desired point b...sometimes, they stand in their own way of getting what they want. I am just wondering if that is what you are doing, you know, "looking for love in all the wrong places"...