You/AP have actually said "I love you" ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
You/AP have actually said "I love you" ?
11
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:28pm

Although my A is new, I was just curious about something based on the other A I had years ago and the direction it ended up going and the hurt that was involved on all parties in the end...


Have you or AP actually said those words to each other? Clearly, given there is an H or W at home? Im sure it's just a feeling and it happens to be there and then maybe it just comes out but I picture someone saying it too soon and what an awkard situation that would be!


And do men (maybe I am stero typing here) actually repeat that back to their AP and allow themselves to go that far? That's probably a silly question but I think back to years ago and there is no doubt that I loved xAP. Everything he stood for, the way he made me feel, the friend he was, etc.. but after about 9 months, I wouldn't DARE say that to him. He would say little things like "Aww, great smile in your picture, you love me dont you?" And drop other little things like that but I never bought into it, never said it - TOTAL FEAR OF REJECTION!! Afterall, we both were MW/MM. I guess Im just kind of curious how it gets to that point, how did it happen (who said it first), when did you absolutely know

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:52pm

Yes, we say 'I love you' to each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:52pm

I remember the first time he told me "I Love You". We were seeing each other for about 5 months and he said that I'm very down to earth, fun to be with and whispered that he's in love with me. I looked at him amazed (thinking OH H@LL NO). I really think I'm like the male in this A lol.


I told him "you can't love me, you hardly know me".

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:21pm

I have a MM, who plays no games, is honest about everything, I never have to wonder what is going on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 5:04pm

My 1st A we did say i love you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 5:09pm

I totally get where you're coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 6:54pm

Hi cali,


Well, since I left my H because I was so in love with AP...there was no way I couldn't NOT say it!


In the beginning of our R, AP told me a couple of times that he loved me too...and he's told me a couple of more times over the last few years. However, having said that, I think he has a difficult time admitting it to me...maybe because he thinks I will then have "expectations" of him...he's probably right.


I understand why he doesn't say it all the time though, it's enough that I know he does....and honestly, he shows me ALL the time. He actually just told me twice within the last week or two that he loves me, so I'm full right now....lol.


I, on the other hand, have absolutely no problem telling him I love him! I tell him I love him all the time...as well as telling him how smart, kind, talented, and extremely handsome I think he is. If I didn't let these feelings out I think I would explode!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 8:14am

Like another poster MM and I have a long history going back over 40 years....we dated on and off for 6 years but never exclusively. I looked him up on a networking site and sent him a short message. It took him a few months to reply... and then after another few months of exchanging emails

katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:13pm

We have said it a million times while making out ;).He has given soo many Os that I cant help saying it.He says the same ;)

Outside that,I am planning to say it next week when he comes back from his 2 week business tour.Cant wait.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 2:55pm
My AP told me that he loves me 2 months after the A began. I didn't expect that and told him that he
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 6:14pm

It's been a while since I've been on the board... but my AP told me he loved me a few weeks into it all. The feeling is so mutual it's scary, for both of us. It's been six months and the feelings just keep growing. We've been best friends for a few years, and I was hoping the 'fog' would lift but it's just gotten more intense. We actually decided last week to stop, to focus on our M's to see if we could make it work with our SO's. We only lasted 5 days, and that was b/c I was out of town without cell service. I don't know if we are back 'on' but last night we talked about how hard it is and how much we love each other. *sigh* Don't know what we are going to do. Totally sucks. Been going to therapy for the past few months to sort it out, which has been helpful but still don't know how it's going to play out.


So yes, we say 'I love you'. Pretty much every day. Neither one of us has loved someone the way we love eachother. Wish it was easier. Wish we didn't work together, wish that we didn't hang out as couples, wish that my H was awful and his W was a bitch. Not the case, I see him every day, we spend time together outside of work with our SO's, we travel together, he is in every thought, I think of him when I wake up and before I fall asleep. We both agree that we are hopeless. :)

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