You'd think I'd know better

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
You'd think I'd know better
9
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 1:47pm

Well, I used to post on here oh about a yr ago under a diff name cause I forgot my log in, I ended my A about 14m ago, it kinda creeped me out that he was willing to drive 16hrs to see me, kinda a big attachment there...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 2:02pm
"this will not hurt my child as we are both adults and this is his job! " If the A goes wrong , it WILL hurt your child.Dont be so blind sided!! You are walking on egg-shells,be very careful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 3:00pm
You are really playing with fire this time. A coach having an A with one of the moms is so cliche. Putting your child through this kind of potential embarrassment is way too selfish. I really think you should re-think this because this is too close to hurting your child for your own selfish needs. Maybe it's time to have a quick sit down with hubby and make some decisions about your M. You are a loose cannon it seems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 3:30pm

Welcome back to MAS sweetie_pea!

I can't say my OM and I have the same R that you do, but I have been involved in an A (my first one) where the OM was a part of my "normal" life too. I didn't see him a lot during the "non-A" part of our lives though.

I think you should follow your gut if it's telling you to let things "die down". Anything that twists you all up isn't a good thing, right? Anyway we're right here with ya. :-)

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 5:45pm
Thanks for weighing in everyone... I am really thinking over everything that all of you said. I am the kinda person that has to really think about things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 6:44pm

Though I think there could be consequences due to the fact that he's your child's coach, that's not what you asked about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 11:52pm

Hi sweetie_pea,

So my A is different, but my AP and I work together so maybe there are some similarities. We used to work much more closely together, but always had a reason to work on the same projects from time-to-time. We always tried to be discrete and act as if nothing was going on, but you know how people sometimes pick-up on the "vibes" others are putting out? Well, apparently it's hard to hide the vibes.

I recently came clean with a friend at work, who wasn't at all surprised. In fact, they told me it was assumed that something was going on between AP and I. Not that anyone would have thought it was a full-blown A, but clearly everyone knew we were "close".

I would guess that in such a close-knit circle, you can never be TOO careful. Someone is bound to catch you watching him or him winking at you or just noticing that you seem to be REALLY supportive of the team. A "first mom to arrive, last mom to leave". If you are going to continue this, please do your best to understand the reality of the situation and what will happen for everyone if it is suspected or discovered. If you consider the consequences upfront, at least you won't be surprised if it goes bad.

Good luck to you. I hope you find some peace.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2010
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 1:45am
Good point MPV that people are watching and notice when things seem close.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 8:42am
It could bring consequences to your child.That said,I too agree,sometimes people know that something is going on between two people before they themselves know it.The gestures dont have to be loud enough for someone to notice,the small ones get attention too.AP and I work together as well and sometimes the look in his eyes is so wanting that it drives me crazy but we continue to work and I am sure if someone was watching us,they would catch upon it instantly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2010
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 12:01pm

I agree that most of the time- people can tell.