19 & 22 yrs old, We Should Be Having SEX

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2008
19 & 22 yrs old, We Should Be Having SEX
16
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 10:25pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 10:08am

No one WANTS to leave, but sometimes it's best.

At 19, you have a LOT more choices than dealing with someone who won't talk to you about it, won't work with you, shows no affection or compliments. If that's what you need, seek it. BF can't give it to you.

He doesn't trust that you're being faithful? He's not willing to talk about that either is he. If he could give reasons he thinks that & work with you, it might work out. But no, he's insecure, that you couldn't possibly want just him. In his head he's not good enough, so he's preparing himself for what he thinks will happen. Instead of dealing with what is here, now.

It could be something else, but if he won't say, we can only guess.

He just doesn't want as much sex as you. You're not compatible. Seek a better fit. But beware of going too far in the other direction. You need a balance, not all sex, not all a nice person. Some parts a nice person, & some parts a sex fiend. ;-)

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 10:26am
Especially at your respective ages, it's not your job to rescue him or be his therapist. He is clearly fine with his lack of sexual interest. And you are clearly not fine. Cut your losses now and find someone who will appreciate someone like you.
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 10:48am

I have given the following advice in the past, and I think it applies to you as well:


If I were you, I would thank

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 11:02am

19 & 22 & no SEX??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 11:17am
LOL, aren't you the frisky one today
Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 11:34am
Just letting it show for a change ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 1:27pm

<< it's not your job to rescue him or be his therapist. He is clearly fine with his lack of sexual interest. And you are clearly not fine. Cut your losses now and find someone who will appreciate someone like you. >>


Well said.


Actually I think this works for any of us, at any age... I know children complicate things, and kids or not, its always easier said than done when heart strings are involved...


But frankly, I think most (not all) of us would be better off if we could take this advice, no matter WHAT our stage in life is.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Thu, 01-01-2009 - 6:12am

I would second what holdingontoit said. I would thank him so much I would buy him a gift for being so honest THEN LEAVE. You are only 19. The reason you date is to weed out the bad ones and honey he is one to be weeded out. I didn't get married until I was 30. I NEVER lived with anyone. I wanted to have my freedom to come and go. You never know when "the one" will come along. He is NOT the one. I was dating another woman when I met my wife. Things happen like that in life. You are only 19!!!!!!!!! You have your entire life ahead of you. Do you want to spend it with a guy who, one, thinks you cheat and two, wants to live like a monk? I sure wouldn't. If he wants to live like that tell him to be a priest. Leave now. You never know who you might find. But I would rather be alone with a good book and my dogs than with this guy!


Good Luck,


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 01-01-2009 - 11:13am

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I completely agree with all the other posters -- cut your losses now. Why on earth do you feel compelled or obligated to stay with this guy? If sex is important to you, and it sounds like it is, this guy will never provide you with what you need. I also suggest you steer him to the www.asexuality.org website, to see if any of it clicks for him.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 2:06pm

I agree with everyone who reply to your post.


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