When you see it coming, duck!
Is the side business a hobby or a financial necessity? Is it something that gives her a lot of self esteem? Is it possible that the business is a healthy, independent endeavor rather than a pathological distraction?
Being resentful of something that makes her feel accomplished and attractive probably isn't very attractive behavior on your part. I think it is a great idea for you to find independent activities that make you feel accomplished and attractive.
>>>>> I need to mention that I have
>>>>> Many,..many times, I feel like I'm just a big pay check to her, a nanny, house keeper, etc........Do I think of D?
Have you considered that your W knows that you "friends" on the side and is not willing to risk her health while you are having an Affair?