Is this amount a low sex drive???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2005
Is this amount a low sex drive???
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:40am

Okay, I am new to this board and wondering if what I am frusterated with is that I have a high sex drive and if my partner has a low sex drive. I am in my 30's and my bf is in his later 20's. Everyone always assumes that men in their 20's are SO into sex- but I have found things in my dating life to be differently.

To me, I would love to have sex several times a week- and a few times on the weekends- especially since there are no major commitments such as children around. My bf and I have been together for 5 months. The beginning, of course, it always seems like they WANT you everytime you are together.

After about three months of having sex- it seems like he only wants sex once on the weekends- and maybe if I am lucky once during the week. He's affectionate towards me- but I have found out that he doesn't masterbate very often- it sounds like maybe once or twice a month- he says "because he has me" he doesn't need to. Well, we don't live together or see each other every day- I masterbate whether I see him or not. (In fact having sex with him makes we want to MORE!) He has no interest in having sex in the morning- even on the weekends- I was suprised by this- as most men seem to like it in the morning that I've met in the past.

He recently has taken up biking- training for a 100 mile race- he bikes 1-2 hours a day, 4-5 hours once a weekend. I enjoy working out too- and I support doing races- but I wonder if its taking away from his sex drive.

I am TRULY frusterated as I almost feel that even on the one night on the weekend I am pushing for sex- and wonder if he would be fine without any. Is this a low sex drive? Is mine so high since I want it 3-4 times a week?



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 12:49pm
You are both within the "normal" range. HL and LL is a relative term. There is a problem only if both partners have different needs and/or expectations as seems to be the case your situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 7:48pm

WELL,....since we have a poster named Italybiker who is extremely active, I think I can say that the biking does not diminish libido, (maybe italybiker is just the exception to the rule) LOL

Have you been able to talk to him and find out if this has always been his "normal" or if he thinks this is less than he was used to before?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 7:57pm

my boyfriend is a bike rider and since we've been living