been thinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
been thinking
29
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 1:23am
I think it's understandable that I have had the reservations I do. Even the law allows a marriage that hasn't been consummated to be annulled. As if it never happened. But on the other hand, gay marriages and polygamous marriages aren't even legal, but that doesn't mean they can't work or aren't real somehow. I've been worrying too much about what is "normal" and in the grsnd scheme it doesn't matter if our relationship is normal.

I know that in my gut this is where I want to be. I know that I'm happier than I've ever been, and my whole thought process hasn't even been whether or not I should leave but whether or not this can last. I think it can, and I want it to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 4:40pm

...I'm not emotional about your situation...it nowhere near mirrors anything that I've ever dealt with personally...each man that I've been involved with has wanted to have intercourse, and often...but, I do recognize english words...and, yours express that regardless of how much you tell yourself that you are happy, you still come to the conclusion that you aren't...and, I have to assume that your unhappiness is sex based as you are posting on a sex problems board...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 5:11pm

In most instances I would have no problems talking to friends or family, but I don't think it's right to tell my friends and family, who know my bf, that he is impotent.

I never suggested you should mention that so it is interesting that that's what you picked up from my comment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 5:13pm
I didn't say you were emotional about my situation. I said it's impossible to not allow your own life experiences to affect how you might percieve someone else's situation.

You must me reading something other than what I have written though, because I have never said I am unhappy with my relationship. Never. The fact that I have sometimes had a hard time dealing with the ED does not in any way mean I am unhappy with my relationship. It would be assinine to to think that anyone could go through this an not be affected in some way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 5:18pm
Magnaniman- yes my freinds and family think he's a good guy and they all really like him. That does serve as validation, however since they are missing a big piece of the story it only goes so far. I'm have not ever been concerned about anything in our relationship *except* this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 5:22pm

You must me reading something other than what I have written though, because I have never said I am unhappy with my relationship. Never. The fact that I have sometimes had a hard time dealing with the ED does not in any way mean I am unhappy with my relationship.

I think you are nitpicking now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 5:56pm
Sorry, that was in response to zejayge. I am posting from my phone so I can't use the quote feature.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 6:04pm
In response to you though magnaniman, I suppose it's fair to say that I'm not happy that he had ED. I'm also not happy he's blind, or that a blister on his foot turns into a bone infection that nearly causes him to require an amputation. I wish that was not how things are. I know that I would rather deal with all of that than not have him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 6:05pm
That should say "has ED".
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 7:40pm

...are you referring to the "ED" as the "missing a big piece of the story:"?....interesting choice of words...the "big" piece of missing information concerns your sex life...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 7:42pm

...I think that you're unhappy with parts of the relationship that are "big" to you...and, you're worried that those parts might seem small to others...or, that if you leave for what you consider important (a compatible sexual relationship) then you might end up with someone that doesn't treat you as well...only you can decide if you can be happy the rest of your life without having the sex that you feel is 'big" part of what is missing...