Fantasy vs. Reality

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Fantasy vs. Reality
9
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 12:09pm

Miranda posted something in Bri's thread that I found interesting, and I didn't want to hijack that thread so figured I'd start a new one.

Miranda: "I'm not much of a dreamer. I'm a realist, I know what world I live in, not much point in fantasizing about it being different."

This is an interesting observation. I tend to be the same way in terms of fantasy. I never fantasize about things that are impossible - i.e. fantasizing about Marilyn Monroe is pointless, because she is dead and gone...it could never happen under any circumstance. Fantasizing about living celebrities is also a rarity with me, because it is very, very unlikely (although the chance is still better than Marilyn). On the other hand fantasizing about the woman in the grocery store who asks for my help to get something off the top shelf does occupy some of my time - again, the odds are pretty low, but that COULD happen in some strange twist of fate. Ironically, a lot of my fantasies are about DW having fantasies, or rather, having desires to act out fantasies. Her take is that she does not need reality if her imagination is good enough. My logical inference from that is that all we would need then, is food and an easy chair and we could just sit and imagine what life should be like. 

Just wondering if one's preference in this regard is at all related to Libid0.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 12:16pm

I don't have fantasies at all really.  Not about things that could never happen.  Not about things that are unlikely, not about things that are possible.  I just don't engage in that way. 

I'm probably a freak for this a well as for my sex issues....<sigh>

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2012
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 12:37pm

Fantasy is such an important part of the brain and mental and cultural life that I'm surprised you can take such a view of it as you seem to. Fantasies are creative of just about everything. The idea that "I'm just a rock, you can depend on me; I have no fantasies!" is not a civilized notion. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 1:38pm
Pandy, Thanks for confirming my freak status and adding that I am uncivilized. Now how about you? Are you HL or LL? What is your answer to the original question?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 5:01pm

My fantasies must be possible, even if highly improbable, to evoke any sort of mental and/or sexual arousal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 11:46pm

<<  I never fantasize about things that are impossible - i.e. fantasizing about Marilyn Monroe is pointless, because she is dead and gone...it could never happen under any circumstance. Fantasizing about living celebrities is also a rarity with me, because it is very, very unlikely (although the chance is still better than Marilyn). On the other hand fantasizing about the woman in the grocery store who asks for my help to get something off the top shelf does occupy some of my time - again, the odds are pretty low, but that COULD happen in some strange twist of fate.  >>

I'm EXACTLY the same way. I get absolutely nothing out of fantasizing about things that can't possibly happen. I have a limited capacity for suspension of disbelief in general, which is why I find realistic books and movies much more engrossing than sci-fi, fantasy, etc. The swords, daggers, robots and wizards get in the way of the psychological drama that is of greatest interest to me.

And yet I'm LL. I'm pretty sure that my physical reaction to sexual fantasies is very mild compared to what most HLs experience.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 5:29pm

<< Just wondering if one's preference in this regard is at all related to Libid0 >>+

From looking around, I think mine is as high as any but all that I 'fantasize' about is regular enough, moderate-to-low sexual experimentation with a good attitude from a committed and loving wife. Hopefully a decent combination of reality and fantasy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 1:32pm

"Fantasy is such an important part of the brain and mental and cultural life that I'm surprised you can take such a view of it as you seem to. Fantasies are creative of just about everything."

Fantasies are not compulsory contrary to whatever gave you that impression. Now if that don't just cement the fact that personal perception is not reality I don't know what would do it. 


"The idea that "I'm just a rock, you can depend on me; I have no fantasies!" is not a civilized notion."


 What? So now she's uncivilized just because she doesn't fit in your box? Please save your judgement for somewhere else, this board should be about helping each other out and learning to understanding each other, personal attacks are not welcome here. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 1:50pm
Xisummit, Thanks for that...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-23-2012 - 9:53am

I would also tend to have fantasies about people I know and not celebrities, but I think that the fantasies now are because I'm not in a relationship, so it's more hoping maybe this person might like me & we could get together.  Of course, I've had strange fantasties about real people too--somehow I could have a fantasy about a certain person, then see that person IRL and think "hey, he was way better in my head.  IRL he's not that sexy."  lol  So I don't know what was going on there!  When I was last married (and having a good sex life) I didn't really fantasize about other people--I might think about having sex later w/ my DH.  I don't know if fantasies are really related to HL or LL  I would assume that people w/ a LL probably don't fantasize about sex much because they aren't that interested in it but I also wouldn't call myself HL--probably in the middle.