Getting Harder to deal

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Getting Harder to deal
18
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 5:31pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 5:46pm
If you've stopped taking birth control you need to set him down and tell him. Tell him you are no longer taking it and why. Tell him how you are feeling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 12:09am

I agree with Amom that you need to tell your partner that you have stopped taking the pill, and why. It may just make him wake up and realise that you truly consider this to be serious, to the point that it's not worth worrying about being on birth control all the time. Make it clear that you feel it's a waste of money spending all that money for something that has no purpose any more, and that until such time that he is prepared to put your relationship back on the forefront of his mind, you won't be going back on them.

Tell him why you have stopped drinking. Tell him how this all makes you feel.

Is it possible to set yourself a deadline on how much longer you will allow this to go on, in hope that things might change, and then walk away if they don't?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 8:03pm

I was where you are now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2009
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 8:06pm
I would tend to think that the fact that he didn't inquire as to why you had stopped taking the pill and merely offered an alternative birth control method is more of an HL response...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 9:38pm

<

Counsellor: I need a yellow pen.
Me: I don't have a yellow pen.
Counsellor: But I NEED one and it hurts me that your not giving it to me.
Me: But I don't have one, how can I give you what I don't have.
Counsellor: You don't care about me because your not prepared to give me what I need.>>

Wow, that's brilliant! Kudos to your counsellor.

F.




Edited 1/14/2009 9:39 pm ET by freelancemomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 9:37am

Wow, thanks so much! To everyone,


But Goldie what you said really made sense to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 12:14pm

<>

No, he probably won't understand and he may even be relieved. As has been discussed numerous times on this board, sexual rejection to a LL is not the same thing as it is to a HL.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:36pm

<<I would tend to think that the fact that he didn't inquire as to why you had stopped taking the pill and merely offered an alternative birth control method is more of an HL response... >>


Very possibly lol - my point on this was that as a guy, his brain is wired differently - he wasn't hearing me say, "I've come off the pill because we never have sex and I feel frustrated and what's the point of paying $50 every 3 months for nothing?"


He heard me say "I've stopped taking the pill".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:40pm

<>

I'm not convinced he didn't get the message. I'm inclined to think he simply didn't want to open that can of worms...

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:57pm

Very possibly lol - my point on this was that as a guy, his brain is wired differently - he wasn't hearing me say, "I've come off the pill because we never have sex and I feel frustrated and what's the point of paying $50 every 3 months for nothing?"


He heard me say "I've stopped taking the pill".

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