I created the mismatch, how to fix ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
I created the mismatch, how to fix ?
19
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:17pm

After my wife gave

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:27pm

How about your wife "helping you out" twice a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:56pm

Hi mike_sixone,

I have never posted on this board before, however, I have posted on others. I am a 30-something woman with a wonderful man and four kids. He is an HL and I am working on getting there. It's not so much that my L is low, after a full day of work, and a full evening of dinner, kids, dishes, laundry, etc..etc..I am sometimes just too exhausted. However, I have realized that it's no excuse. I had to make it a point to "make myself" want sex. Not that I didn't want him, you know?
Anyway, IMHO it is not selfish to want to show your wife that you want her. I admire the fact that you were able to give up your "extracurricular activity" to help bring the intimacy back into your marriage.

You also said

Do you give her that intimate non-sexual contact? Do you touch her often? I can tell you from experience that the more playful during the day/evening hours we are, the more often I am in the mood at bedtime.
Just between you and me----I am working on working up the nerve to wake him up in the middle of the night with oral sex.
I would say, talk with your wife. See if you can both compromise on an average number of times per week/month. Whatever works for you. Make sure she understands that it is HER that you want and not just the sex, though. If she is feeling that she is just there to "relieve the pressure" so to speak, she probably won't be very receptive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 7:08pm
Would she compromise and help you out by giving you a HJ, or would the two of you be willing to make masturbation a partnered event, to a certain degree i.e. she watches you while you do it?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 9:12am

Thanks 2plus2mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 3:51pm

<< I resist the urge to start sucking toes and such >>


Man, that brought back mammories (oops... Freudian slip... :-), I mean memories... its been so long since I've had

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 4:42pm
Interesting.... never really gotten my toes sucked..... ^_^
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 10:51pm
<< Interesting.... never really gotten my toes sucked..... ^_^
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2008
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 10:39am

Well, foot rubs are a really nice form of sensual contact that is turning me on, and now I worry that if I bring the ML issue out in the open

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 12:43pm

I think a lot of men are this way. I don't know why. I also think that a lot of women find it difficult to think/feel that a man can be loving and affectionate without expecting a "full return on their investment" so to speak. I know women are more touchy, feely..
Women like to feel cherished. Loved. We don't want to feel that we are only here to cook, clean, launder, and relieve our man's urges. I am not saying that you are making your wife feel that way, please don't take it that way. I am saying that women, in general, don't have the same "drive" as men. Some do, and I think that's great for them. But, we don't want to feel that we are only hear to please men and make their life easier.

Do you do things for your wife to make her life easier? Like, help with housework, and dishes? Take out the trash without her asking? Make sure her car has the necessary upkeep? Can you be sensual with your wife without it turning sexual?? Can you be affectionate with her during the day/evening hours, and not even hint that you would like to have sex at bedtime? Do you think she would be receptive to something like that? Does she feel that ANY contact with you will make you automatically think that you're going to be getting some that night?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 5:28pm
Do men really get off on women's toes???

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