I need to feel that sexual connection

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
I need to feel that sexual connection
12
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 5:01pm

Okay, here is the deal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 6:05pm

I dont think right now is the time to do anything. You are in a situation where it could go either way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:32am
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:22am

First of all honey, may I correct you on the fact that old married couple are boring and not sexual. Many old married couples have wonderful sex. More wonderful than youth will ever know. The secret is staying in love and never letting passion escape.

Now about you. You are dying of hunger from what you need. Your lover should be pleasuring you with his tongue and fulfilling the needs that you have. It is not good to be sexually frustrated. Talk with him. Tell him that you want foreplay. You want to be touched and played with and you want to do the same with him. Ask him how you can pleasure him. From what I have learned about life what you are feeling now is just a sampling of what you will feel as you age and grow into the sexual woman that you will become. It sounds like you have the opposite libido's and that could be rough. How was he when you were first dating? Was he passionate or was he like this? The problem that so many women or men do not realize is that after a person gets married they do not usually get more passionate and instead may fall into the "we're married" catagory and sex becomes a once a week duty. You as his wife or lover must keep him active along these lines. If he starves to death sexually you will pay the price. Don't let him. Try and keep him alive.

I wish I knew the right words to help you but I assure you that my heart aches for you. I believe that when a woman is pregnant that some of her hottest sexual want is at that time. Best of luck.

Candyann

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:48am

<< HOW in the HECK do I say all this to him? >>


Looks like you've done a fantastic and thorough job with what you've posted here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 11:10am

Also, you cant stand firmly in the shy column, saying you need the physical touching but be unwilling to initiate it.


I agree with the above.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:42pm
Have you thought about his feelings? Because this wasn't planned his life just took a downturn. Wanting sex is great but talking the fears and feelings and maybe a good family lawyer and pre-nuptial or anti-nuptial or other legal agreements may set each person's mind at edge. From your writing you are so excited that the reality has not set in. In the US he is now a slave to the system all decisions for his life have been taken away. You and he are young and there is much living to do. Preparing now for the future of everyone may calm his terror (ignore what a person says when their actions say opposite). The libido may not be the problem terror and emotional distress may.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:27pm

I am the HL in my relationship (my DW is 16 weeks pregnant!) but even I think you are way too obsessed with sex. You are 36 weeks pregnant! Shouldn't you be preparing for the birth of your child instead of looking at porn? I think you may have way too much time on your hands. Your partner may well be too busy worrying about how he is going to provide for this baby to be wanting sex as much as you do right now.

Maybe you are turning to sex to avoid thinking about your new reality? It is not his job to soothe your anxieties and insecurities. You are now a grown woman who is about to be responsible for the life of another human being. I think you are very out of line in your expectations right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 2:15pm

I truly don't want to come off as unsupportive, because as

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 2:35pm
I guess what everyone else is saying is what I was trying to say.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 4:17pm

"what will it be like when we're 53?

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