I Wonder

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
I Wonder
8
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 10:56pm

I wish Blizzard gave out its subscriber list, because I would love to conduct a survey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
In reply to: demeron
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 11:38pm

Let me just say, I empathize. My BF is an avid gamer. Well, rabid might be more accurate. He spends literally HOURS a day on the PlayStation, and here I am making his dinner, washing his clothes, and generally enabling him to piddle his time away. Stupid me.


And let me assure you, video game addiction is just as real as any other. Lovely little perks like immediate gratification with minimal effort and a reset button make it a great escape from dealing with real life issues. And that is great, if indulged in moderation. But when someone overuses it, it becomes a problem. Social skills plummet, and relationships crash. And a real live human being in the the actual 3D world, with all the dailiness of

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 8:36am

You know, I really am starting to think games like WOW rewire your brain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 9:32am

<>

Sure they do! You just need to look a little harder.

Do you have your own activities to take up your time? What do you do when he is playing? Have you tried playing with him? If you don't work, what do you do with your time? Maybe you need to engage in activities that will rewire your brain rather than expecting him to rewire his to be more sexually motivated?




Edited 4/30/2009 9:33 am ET by magnaniman
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 12:48pm

I've obsessed on a couple of games on my iPhone recently, mostly organizing, shooting & exploding colored balls and jewels. I may be close to your husband in the libido department. For me the games relieve aggressive stress. Stress caused by financial stuff, tenants who don't pay their rent, the noisy college kids a couple of houses down. These are situations in real life that I have to handle with diplomacy when

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 1:33pm

If you've found a way to rewire your brain to feel less sexual, please pass it along!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 1:59pm

<>

Sure, I just don't don't obsess about it as much as I used to. I don't look through sexy catalogs thinking what to buy for my DW that she won't likely wear anyway. I don't expend energy planning our next sexual encounter: the things I'd like to do to her, with her, and have done to me. I don't indulge my sexual fantasies as much, in general.

I don't automatically sexualize the situation when we shower together, when she undresses in front of me, when we kiss, when we are affectionate, etc. I don't measure her love toward me by how much lust she has toward me. I don't measure my self-worth by her level of sexual responsiveness.

In short, very much like an addict quitting his drug of choice, I avoid the triggers that would lead me to unhealthy and/or unproductive sexual thoughts. I am still sexual, just more controlled. I'm still figuring out the right balance, though. Sometimes I feel like I an losing too much of myself in the self restraint.

Edited 4/30/2009 2:00 pm ET by magnaniman




Edited 4/30/2009 2:06 pm ET by magnaniman
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
In reply to: demeron
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 4:50pm

Being the information junkie that I am, I did a bit of googling on the subject. I found this interesting tidbit from a Stanford study....


He and his colleagues became interested in exploring the concept of territoriality, and they determined the best way to do so was with a simple computer game.


After analyzing the imaging data for the entire group, the researchers found that the participants showed activation in the brain’s mesocorticolimbic center, the region typically associated with reward and addiction. Male brains, however, showed much greater activation, and the amount of activation was correlated with how much territory they gained. (This wasn’t the case with women.) Three structures within the reward circuit—the nucleus accumbens, amygdala and orbitofrontal cortex—were also shown to influence each other much more in men than in women.


So your intuition is onto something as far as his "wiring" being affected. This particular study was about territoriality, which is the basic goal of games like WoW.


>>I think of us as not absolutely

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
In reply to: demeron
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 3:56pm
This is EXACTLY why I broke up with my fiance. Except his game of choice was LOTR online.