Ignorance and Social Pressures ......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Ignorance and Social Pressures ......
32
Sun, 02-05-2012 - 10:06am

Not to mention societal 'norms' and gross generalizations. They all add up to hog-wash like this semi-literate 'story' that some will take seriously and perhaps try and shoe-horn into their lives because it was published, so there must be some truth:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 10:23pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 11:52pm

"1.5kids?!?! 1 delivered and 1 in the oven?"

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 3:29pm
1.5kids?!?! 1 delivered and 1 in the oven?

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:20pm

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:18pm

" ...

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 10:42am
Your point is very well taken flm. The reality of how strong this aversion can be is precisely why so many of us long-timers have come to the realization that not all mismatches can be resolved in a mutually satisfying manner. Unfortunately, for some couples, breaking up is the best outcome they can hope for. The tragic part arises when they don't realize the truth, or aren't willing to admit it to themselves, until far down the road.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 11:04pm
<>

I might call it longitudinal aversion -- aversion that only becomes apparent (to both parties in the ML relationship) over a long period of time.

F.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 12:58pm

"It's one of the realities that makes ML so complex and confounding."

Or how about, sex is (historically at least) - very risky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 1:51pm

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 1:40pm

<>

I've said this before, and I know it sounds like a copout, but stretching yourself to have unwanted sex really is different from stretching yourself to help friends or strangers or even stretching yourself to take out the garbage. I'm not saying this gives LLs a free pass, just that the required psychological (and sometimes physical) push is far greater. It's one of the realities that makes ML so complex and confounding.

Here's an analogy. I've been doing some research on eating and weight maintenance for an article I'm writing. I learned that so-called "naturally thin" people -- people who can supposedly eat what they want without gaining weight -- almost invariably don't WANT to eat as much as the rest of us. When forced to eat beyond their natural wants and needs in controlled hospital experiments, they report great physical discomfort and massive resentment at having to eat when not in the mood for it. This is practically incomprehensible to the likes of me, as I belong to the majority of people who love to eat and can easily eat beyond maintenance needs without feeling either physical or psychological discomfort. And yet some people are like this. I think the same forces kick in when LLs are called upon (again and again) to have unwanted sex.

JMHO Freelance

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