I'm not so sure.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
I'm not so sure.....
2
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 4:58pm

...if I'm happy to have found you guys or dismayed at the predicament that brings

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 5:37pm

Regarding performance anxiety, what do you expect from him when you have sex? Does he know that? Sharing your expectations can go a LONG way toward easing some of the performance anxiety.

That was a big issue in my relationship with my now DW. What she thought I expected from her and what I really expected from her were very different. She thought I expected "YES! YES!! YES!!! MORE! MORE!! MORE!!!" type of enthusiasm from her every time. She thought that if she couldn't orgasm multiple times or get soaking wet at the mere mention of sex, that I would be disappointed with her.

Some of that was my fault. I had been honest about previous relationships that did include that kind of sex regularly. And, truthfully, I was (am) a bit disappointed that it was not like that with her. But expectations can and should change in step with life.

It has taken a while, but we have been able to align our expectations a lot closer together. Of the last five times we've had sex, she's probably initiated four of those times!

Expect a little, hope for a lot. Seems to work better that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 8:10am

Thanks for your thoughts.


I don't really think the performamce anxiety is quite so literal. He explained