I'm so lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
I'm so lost.
4
Sun, 03-15-2009 - 8:33pm

I've posted in a couple of different places on ivillage but never here so I guess I'm a newbie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 10:22am

<< He says he'd like to have sex 3-4 times per week but it NEVER happens.>>

I keyed in on this in your post. He is likely telling you the truth that he would LIKE to have sex that much but something is getting in the way.

What's changed? You really should check off the obvious things that could affect his reaction to you like your weight and personal hygiene and then other factors like nagging, being negative toward him, emasculating him in any way. How is your relationship outside the bedroom? Is he afraid of getting you pregnant?

There HAS to be more to this story than what you've related here. There is always a reason for a change though sometimes it is very difficult to figure out what that may be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 12:27pm

Hello shrtnsasy,


Sorry to hear about your situation.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 3:47pm
>>

What's changed? You really should check off the obvious things that could affect his reaction to you like your weight and personal hygiene and then other factors like nagging, being negative toward him, emasculating him in any way. How is your relationship outside the bedroom? Is he afraid of getting you pregnant?


There HAS to be more to this story than what you've related here. There is always a reason for a change though sometimes it is very difficult to figure out what that may be. <<


My personal hygiene hasn't changed, I still take care of myself in that manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 10:59pm

I have to say that not everyone here thinks that if a man loses interest in sex, it HAS to be because of some outside reason--ie: you. I think he's just not interested in sex, and it has nothing to do with you. However, before you spend too many years being unhappy with him, you should consider whether or not it's time for an ultimatum: either he finds a reason for his lack of interest (ie: medical), or he agrees to REALLY have sex 2-3 times a week. Tell him you want him to go to the doctor, and if he checks out, you want to try an experiment: sex every day for a year. Doesn't have to be a long drawn out session, but it has to be every day.

If he completely refuses to try to even compromise a little, then I think you are young enough to go out and find someone more compatible. I have never been a fan of marrying the first person you have sex with, I just don't think you have enough information to make an informed decision about a lifelong commitment.