it worked!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
it worked!
11
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 1:48pm
He bought the penile support sleeve, and we gave it a try. It felt a little different for both of us, but still good, and I'm just very happy right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 9:08pm
No problem. I found almost no information online about them. Not a single review or anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Fri, 08-19-2011 - 5:17pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 5:33am

Great news, and I'm really impressed that both of you have been able to express and negotiate your way through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 10:13pm
Don't worry about it, because we were not able to find much info about them online at all. There's seemingly only one company that makes them, and I've never seen them mentioned anywhere except this one book I read that has an exhaustive listing of available ED treatments.

So, to answer your questions... how it works is it's a hollow tube made out of this kind of stiff material that feels a bit like silicone. It's a little wider at the base than at the tip, and the end of it is open for the head to stick out. The bottom of it is slit so it can expand if needed. It also has a strap that goes around the balls to hold it on. I hope that sort of makes sense. So to use it you strap it on, put a condom over it, to sort of hold everything together, and you are good to go. It supposedly works even in a completely flaccid state, but we have found it to not work all that well unless he's semi-rigid. This is because there's... um... a huge difference in size between his flaccid state and virtually any amount of erection, and the tube is just too big if he isn't erect at all.

He actually does have a pretty normal amount of sensation down there, and he can can an O, but he hasn't had one with intercourse so far. He's had them lots of times from oral and handjobs, not everytime, but pretty often now. I can't really say for certain how it feels to him to have intercourse, but he says it feels good. He says there's obviously less sensation along the shaft, but there is the normal amount of sensation one would expect with intercourse in the head. For me it feels, different, but it's hard to say exactly how or why since it's been a while since I've had "normal" intercourse. It's not a huge difference to me. So far we've only attempted sex with me on top, as physics would seem to suggest that would work best. Even if that's all we can ever do I am completely fine with that.

Rightly or wrongly I definitely have this feeling of completion, like something that was missing has been replaced. Not in a physical sense, but emotionally speaking. I feel like even if we could never have sex again that I could continue on and be happy because just having done it once kind of satisfied that emotional need to "consumate" our relationship. For him, I feel as if continuing to be able to do it is more important though. I think he feels like less of a partner if he can't.
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Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 5:30pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 1:59pm
>>I suspected that he was sort of subconsciously using that as an excuse to not move forward with our relationship. And I suspected that the ED was the reason for that. Well, within a week of us successfully having intercourse he went and filed the papers. He seems a lot more relaxed and confident too. His libido has increased a little. There are just a lot of subtle but positive changes in him, and I'm both surprised and not surprised at the same time.<<

this is great, Ageof...you guys are really working at moving forward and dealing openly, honestly, and kindly with your issues. Good job to the both of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 1:49pm
So, things are going well still. There's a little bit of a learning curve, but we're figuring it out. Maybe it helps that it's been so long because I no longer have expectations as to what sex should feel like, and I'm quite happy with anything I can get.

I always suspected that the ED had a big effect on him emotionally, but I'm still a little surprised at how right I was. One big thing that stood out: BF had. Been separated from his ex wife for over two years, but had not yet filed for divorce. At first it was because she carried his health insurance, which I completely understood as he is not someone who should EVER be uninsured, and individual policies aren't a realistic option for him. But then last fall his insurance kicked in at his new job, but he still didn't move forward with the divorce. The papers sat, signed by both of them, for months. I suspected that he was sort of subconsciously using that as an excuse to not move forward with our relationship. And I suspected that the ED was the reason for that. Well, within a week of us successfully having intercourse he went and filed the papers. He seems a lot more relaxed and confident too. His libido has increased a little. There are just a lot of subtle but positive changes in him, and I'm both surprised and not surprised at the same time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 5:16pm
It does help a lot to have a sense of humor about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 10:10am

Great, takes some maturity to manage these things in our lives.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 7:10pm
So glad to hear of your success. Kudos to both of you!

When you see it coming, duck!

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