Of Lingerie and Disappointment ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Of Lingerie and Disappointment ....
13
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 8:39pm
Why am I writing this? I dunno, seems like I got my marching orders in my last thread by a certain someone.
I'm going to intentionally do this in as unorganized a fashion as possible so you best buckle up. Unlike most threads
this one will have little to do with seeking answers and much to do with me and my experiences.
This begins about 5 months before we were married when the future MIL gifted me a lacy red number for my

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 10:20pm
One piece of advice I will pass on to my son is to not marry a woman with serious body issues like that. It's not worth the pain. It's very difficult to overcome a lifetime of negative self-talk like that especially when combined with other factors that eliminate any motivations to do so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 11:02pm

"One piece of advice I will pass on to my son is to not marry a woman with serious body issues like that. It's not worth the pain. It's very difficult to overcome a lifetime of negative self-talk like that especially when combined with other factors that eliminate any motivations to do so."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 12:36pm

Wow! Your wife showers before going to bed? Mine doesn't. Showering is what she does after sex. Why clean yourself if you're just going to get dirty right away? (Obviously betraying her true belief that sex is dirty, despite her claims to the contrary.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 12:44pm
MST, I shower before bed, but....I also prefer to shower after sex. And it has NOTHING to do with thinking sex is dirty. It has to do with HATING the feeling of sweat dried on my body and also hating the slimy, swampy feeling the comes from sitting around with his & my fluids leaking out of me. Now, that being said I experience this swampy feeling often because my DH insists on sex in the middle of the night, and I am not going to get up and shower after. I go into the bathroom and pee and cleanup as best I can, then crawl back into bed and pray I can fall back asleep. I always shower after excercise too, does that mean I think exercise is dirty? I don't think so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 1:11pm

I'm not objecting to showering after sex also, I'm objecting to showering after sex exclusively and never before. And yes, if you shower after any sweaty activity, I think it says that you perceive

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 1:43pm
>>No, they don't evaporate completely, but they don't smell bad if they're allowed to stay on the skin for a few hours either.<< Well, that completely depends on your level of sensitivity to smell and the chemical makeup of the two people involved. At certain times of the month I definitely CAN smell it, and it smells bad to me and I am not talking about during my period, I am talking at other stages in my cycle. It also depends on my partner. Before DH and I lived together the smell that arose afterwards sort of smelled like bleach, not objectionable at all. Now that we live together, use the same soap, detergents, eat the same foods, etc, it's not like that for some reason. And it's not the smell exclusively I'm talking about, it's the slimy feeling. Imagine having cold gravy in your crevices until such time as you could get away and shower a few hours later or the next day. It's just unpleasant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 2:11pm

I guess the only unpleassant sexual smells I've experienced are due a lack of cleanliness, never due to body chemistry, personal or mutual. (Although I must say I dislike the smell of any bodily fluid of a person who has eaten asparagus recently, including or perhaps especially my own.) Until I experience it, I'll suspend judgment.

I have no objection to sliminess

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 2:15pm
>>Maybe that's a sensory preference<< precisely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 2:43pm

"Wow! Your wife showers before going to bed?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 3:26pm

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