An LL giving her it all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
An LL giving her it all...
23
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 7:35pm
...I don't feel like having intercourse every day...I just don't..but, I recognize my husband's desire for sexual contact on a daily basis...I will freely give him a hand job or a blow job...and, I will act as though it is over the moon for me...I have never felt used, or like a piece of meat...I feel like a woman who adores hier man and I want him to be happy...I guess that I just don't get the "feeling used as a piece of meat and a wet hole"...













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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 8:20pm

Just remember that is you and a lot of other people might

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 10:13am

I think that you wouldn't be saying 'an LL giving her it all' if you really found sex fun and enjoyble. If you could find it fun and enjoyable your problem may be solved.

I'm in a ML and the HL one. I think about this a lot because it frustrates me with life at times. So I'm thinking about this problem a lot. Here is my current pattern of thought.

I think you either like sex or you don't. If you're not really into it you're very likely to be a LL. If you're into it you're likely to be a HL. There may be a lot of factors why you're an LL (including medical) or HL but I think a lot has to do with the psychology of the whole thing.

HL's like me's love language is sex. It's in the top 3 of my list of things I want from the relationship. LL's priority regarding sex is probably way down on the list, or even last if a person feels pressured into sex.

By reading this forum I think people can change if they really want to but in general I believe that it's very difficult for people to change as the main thing that changes them is what they believe or their beliefs.

If you believe sex is fun and enjoyable (or good for whatever reasons) then it will be so and you will want more of it. If you have some beliefs that sex is unpleasant (for what ever reasons) or you feel used when having it then your beliefs will be that it's not enjoyable, fun, etc. and you will want less of it.

Maybe it's all a question of how you perceive it. (if it's not a medical thing)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 11:43am
" But changing thinking doesn't work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 8:01pm
I completely understand for
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 12:04am
so what you're saying is you've made yourself accept his actions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 12:25am

You said "I wonder how the HL would feel if the LL treated them the same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 5:08am
...yes...the loss of my husband gave me a perspective that some may not have...













iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 5:09am
...trying is commenting on the death of my husband in Bosnia when he was 35...do you have experience with this?..or...what studies have you read?...













iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 5:16am
..LL is relative...my husband prefers sex every day...I don't..therefore, I am LL...













iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Sun, 08-24-2008 - 8:31am
Extremely well said, amom!

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