LL Hubby & I'm sad, bitter, hurt
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|Mon, 06-09-2008 - 2:14pm|
I've posted here before but it's been a while now.
I'm a frequent lurker here and always hope for that "miracle" answer to resolve the issue with my LL husband. I am very HL (well, I used to be anyways)
I think I've given up on this fight. Hubby is just not going to enjoy sex the way I do, right? No matter what I do, say, feel; it won't make him see how this is hurting me.
Oh sure...after a two week dry spell which is quite typical as far as our sex life goes, he starts making advances BUT now I'm the one who's not interested. I mean how long can a person go on before they just give up?
He'll just never get it. That's what I see in every discussion I have with him and it's what I see on these boards here.
No interest in sex, says he has no fantasies, doesn't care for porn, when we do have sex its the same ole boring routine that lasts all of about 10/15 minutes. BO-RING. Really I am starting to think that no sex is better than the boring sex we have. (when we do have it).
He never "flirts" with me. A few months ago, I mentioned therapy and surprisingly enough he was all for it! YIPPEE! Well last week when I asked him if he had contacted any of the names for therapists we found he said "No, because I though things were better" HELLO???? Since when? What's better? Are we talking about the same thing? Oh sure...we have a long dry spell, I bring up the subject of lack of sex, he listens, for the next few days it's all better (let me placate her here for a bit so I don't have to listen to all this nonsense), he actually touches me and acts like he likes sex, and then it slowly just goes right back to the norm which is sex a couple times a month for about 10 minutes a time.
God I don't think I even make sense anymore.
I am just so down, bitter, angry. I have given up a very integral part of myself because my husband doesnt' like sex with me.
I don't even feel like the same person. My entire personality has always been bubbly, out going, vibrant, sensual...and now I"m just a blob.
I'm only 42 and my sex life is over. I may as well become an overweight, ugly person who never showers or does her hair or makeup and speak intelligently because he sure doesn't notice the attractive (so I am told), feminine, witty person that is slowly fading away into a distant memory.
I HATE that this is happening to me. The bitter, angry woman typing this ISN'T ME! It's not fair that I am at the whim of someone else and I CAN"T BE WHO I REALLY AM with the man who means the world to me.
Do I sound miserable and angry and hurt and bitter? Damn right I am and aren't you the lucky people who get to "hear" my vent.