Loss of Control

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Loss of Control
33
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 4:33pm

Something someone said in another thread resonated for me.

When you see it coming, duck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 4:37pm

While neither pattern/thought process you describe works with me, there is a little of the "uncomfortable with the idea that their spouse KNOWS how uninhibited they can be in bed" because then he can pull the old "look how much you LIKE it" thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 4:52pm

Hmmm....might fit some couples but I dont think it applies in mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 4:54pm

I sometimes have the fear of my H loosing control. There certain fetishy modes that he can slip into and almost involuntarily do physical things to me that don't feel good, that tickle or otherwise feel uncomfortable. I feel like I can't relax sometimes because I have to be on guard to NOT be touched in ways I've told him are unpleasant.


And yes, therefore my guard is up and its harder to let go

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 5:19pm

I have to be on guard to NOT be touched in ways I've told him are unpleasant.


I don't know if you want to discuss this. But I have to say, it always bothers me to read things like that. Someone has said they don't like something & the other person won't stop. Not in general terms, like they don't like sex, so stop asking. But something like this, when it's a specific thing!


Like I'm terribly ticklish. If the BF tried to tickle me, I'd become angry. "There are plenty of places to touch, so keep your finger out of my arm pit."


What's the excuse? "Oh I forgot?"

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 5:32pm

My DHs explanation was more along the lines: sex is about pushing and blurring boundaries, which I guess for him it is . And then some bunk about testing to see if I'd "grown" any since that last time he tried.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 6:04pm

<< I also think that when someone is in the throes of passion, loosing control in a way that is pleasurable for them,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 6:13pm
No fears of loss of control here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 9:01am
Yes, it's a problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 9:08am

I'm sorry to hear that

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 9:25am

Wow, that just really stinks.


Nothing wrong with being a little creative from time to time, but once you're told that a certain, specific thing is unpleasurable......time to give it up.

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