Love isn't always enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Love isn't always enough.
20
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 7:00pm

ooppss tried to edit, and erased instead...Sorry


Edited 4/17/2009 11:59 am ET by gypsygirl35


Edited 4/17/2009 12:02 pm ET by gypsygirl35

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 7:02pm
I sympathize.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 9:17am

I can completely understand what you're feeling.
Some partners just can't grasp how sex is such an important connection point to their spouse. (when to them it's presumably just a physical act)

Have you tried talking to him about this at all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 9:27am

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Unfortunately, you trained him to do this. Maybe he believes that's what you want? Have you talked to him about it? Have you tried to initiate sexual contact without intercourse? Fooling around with all your clothes on is a great way to do this. In these situations, both people have their share of responsibility for the poor lovemaking. It's time to step up and demand better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 10:33am
Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 10:43am

I've been very honest and vocal when it comes to my needs and wants. I try to do this in a manner to where it will not hurt his feelings or make him feel insecure, that will not help this situation.


After talking about this so much I feel like I am pleading with him for the attention-affection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 11:05am

""After talking about this so much I feel like I am pleading with him for the attention-affection.""

Oh wow that hits home more than you can imagine!
For me, it's that feeling of having to beg for (what to me) is such basic affection that's so......degrading!

If she had to literally PLEAD with me to provide her basic emotional needs, you can bet she'd be loooong gone by now! But since this is "just sex" I should apparently just learn to live with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 11:22am

I'm sorry, but no I've not trained him to be this way.


From the start of our relationship I've been trying to make things better, but he must put forth the effort

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 11:35am
...if he has been a man with LL and there has not been a lot of experimentation going since the beginning of the relationship and you have stayed in the relationship you have "trained" him to continue on as though nothing is wrong and that a simple talk might create a tad bit of awkwardness, but the comfort zone will settle back in shortly after...also, if you have been talking to him about your needs since the beginning of the relationship and he has yet to make any sort of lasting changes...he either isn't capable or as in the case of myself and my first marriage...he doesn't want to make the effort...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 12:33pm

Not only is it degrading, but you find yourself wanting to seek "that missing feeling"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 12:51pm

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