MML bringing our marriage to an end

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
MML bringing our marriage to an end
165
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 9:26am

From 6 months before our wedding my wife wanted to stop having sex so she could tell our Pastor that we werent having any.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 11:26am
Z,

well said! Brava! I would only add one thing here. Regardless of how long you are in the relationship, and what you've been through, you can never, I repeat NEVER take libido for granted, because it be stolen from you when you aren't even looking. Drugs, health issues, surgery, depression, the list goes on and on. Just because you have been firmly HL for all of your life does not mean that you always will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 1:18pm
mirandarr8 wrote:
Z,

well said! Brava! I would only add one thing here. Regardless of how long you are in the relationship, and what you've been through, you can never, I repeat NEVER take libido for granted, because it be stolen from you when you aren't even looking. Drugs, health issues, surgery, depression, the list goes on and on. Just because you have been firmly HL for all of your life does not mean that you always will be.


In addition, libido may well be effected by the normal process of aging. So, you are 100% correct that no one can state with certainty that they will "always" be (insert tag of choice).

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 4:18pm

I agree.

chaika

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Sat, 06-04-2011 - 10:14pm
True, but irrelevant to eventguy. He is young, on his 1st marriage, not married long, no kids, and the lack of sex has been continuous throughout the marriage. He does not need to learn to manage ML. He does not need a marriage counsellor. He needs a divorce lawyer. Monday is as long as he should wait. If there was more than a 0.001% chance that his wife was serious about working through her issues, she would already have called the therapists, and likely would already have jumped his bones. She has shown her true colors. Between her fear and her love, her fear wins. I know that hurts for eventguy to accept. But that is reality. He can accept it, take the hit, feel intense pain for a while, and move on. Or, in the hope of avoiding that intense pain, stay with her and doom himself to years or decades of misery. His choice.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 8:51pm
eventguy wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 06-05-2011 - 9:55pm

** After I said my piece she sat stone faced for three minutes with no reaction. **

** The next day she acted as if nothing had happened as I expected she would. **

Sorry, but this does not bode well. I'd suggest you start putting together an exit plan. You've behaved honorably and given her the opportunity to meet you partway, but she seems totally frozen in her position. She's not behaving like an adult. I say this not because of her lack of interest in sex, but because of her "la la la, I''m blocking my ears" attitude to your heartfelt and legitimate complaints. I strongly recommend you face the short-term pain and release yourselves both from this going-nowhere marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 9:01am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 9:15am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 9:23am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 9:30am

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