MML bringing our marriage to an end

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
MML bringing our marriage to an end
165
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 9:26am

From 6 months before our wedding my wife wanted to stop having sex so she could tell our Pastor that we werent having any.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 2:48pm

.sure, I can say I'll never have a sex change...but, as happily married as I am, I cannot say that I will never marry someone else...or fall in love again...as for children, if something were to happen to one of my children and my grand child needed a home, I'd be first in line...to each their own, it's simply worked out better for me to not rule much out...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 2:36pm
zejayge wrote:

....bitterness can be a great motivator...though, I think "never" is a poor descriptor of what someone might (or, might not) do in the future...(at this point someone may want to bring up child molestation or something or other...I am referring to socially acceptable behaviors...)...never say never...

There are cases where one can say "never". My Mom said she would never remarry, and thus far at 61 she has not, and won't unless she goes looking for the opposite sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 2:32pm

....bitterness can be a great motivator...though, I think "never" is a poor descriptor of what someone might (or, might not) do in the future...(at this point someone may want to bring up child molestation or something or other...I am referring to socially acceptable behaviors...)...never say never...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 1:28pm

...I agree...as a matter of fact, she's doing what HL men here have written is the "right" thing..

I agree that it is the best choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 11:35am
mirandarr8 wrote:
>>Then why did she have one with her DH and stay in the relationship for so long? Something changed her opinion about the value of romantic relationships with men<<

She had one and stayed in it because the man told her that it was "okay" with him that she wasn't "into it" and that he valued her efforts to appease him. I think you probably read that yourself, Magnaniman, didn't you?

She has no need of a relationship beyond friendship with a man. She doesn't have an interest in providing what most would consider to be an essential component of a relationship that goes beyond friendship, so why would she pursue one? She's done raising her children (for the most part.) What other benefit would the relationship provide her that she could not get met some other way?

Thanks. Exactly! I fell in love more than 24 years ago, and it was great. For me, that love lasted through my entire adult life. We loved spending time together, doing the things we enjoyed. Now that chapter of my life is over.

These days, I'm focussed on new accomplishments and goals, not the least of which is raising well-adjusted children. I still have many years to go in that effort...I'm nowhere near "done" with full-time parenting. The youngest is just finishing her first year of junior high. We are many years away from HS graduation. The eldest still has years to go, too. I don't have to worry about them being beautiful or scary-smart, because they've always been that. My job now is to make sure they're OK with themselves even though their father bailed on them and is AWOL whenever they have a concert or sports match.

Edited to add: The ex knows me very well. There's a very good chance he's leaving the parenting to me because he knows I'll do an amazing job. I can't do anything else. I feel the full weight of my responsibility to give them the best chance of happiness in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 11:04am

...I agree...as a matter of fact, she's doing what HL men here have written is the "right" thing...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 10:53am
I agree with Miranda and FLM. OC is making a wise choice. Nothing wrong with her for not enjoying sex and sensible for her to avoid "more than friends" relationships with heterosexual men.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 9:48am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 9:35am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 9:28am

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