New to this board...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
New to this board...
6
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 6:12pm
Well I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. We moved in together in May (which was HIS idea and took some time for me to agree to) although before that he was either always spending the night at my place or me at his. I'm 24 and he's 25, although our birthdays are both this month so I'll be 25 and he'll be 26. It's hard to imagine at that age range that we'd be having problems! But having sex feels like work! It's either too hot or he's too tired etc. Or like today when my period just ended there was still a little residue left from that. So I just angrily took a shower and gave up. I feel like I should just stop taking birth control cause it's not like I even need it at this point. I'm so frustrated and angry that it makes ME not want to have sex anymore. I just feel like fine let's just have a sexless relationship! Cause that would be less stressful than actually trying to have sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 6:49pm
Well welcome to the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 7:15pm

Are you Japanese?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:10pm

Hi blossoming. Yes I am Japanese. ;-)

The funny thing is our libidos used to match and it's like we were doing it as much as we could! There was a time where I had to turn HIM down sometimes because we were just doing it so much that I was getting sore or tired. He did go out and do some errands and brought me back some roses today. He was begging me to go on the errands with him to keep him company but I refused to go. He's very affectionate and says how much he loves spending time with me. I don't make plans with friends much because when I do he freaks out about how long I'm going to be gone because he wants to spend time with me. Also I'm on a tight budget so I can't really afford to go out. :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 1:32am

I lived in Tokyo for a year when I was in my early 20's.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 9:33am

>>>>> I don't make plans with friends much because when I do he freaks out about how long I'm going to be gone because he wants to spend time with me. <<<<<


This is a very bad sign.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 8:50pm

That is interesting advice. I was just reading this post line and I can't believe how close this sounds to my problem. My boyfriend and I were, just 5 minutes ago, having a discussion about his uninterest in putting forth "that much energy" to have sex. The problem with hanging with friends instead of him, he couldn't care less if I am around or not. As long as I come home, and I'm not hanging out with a guy... We have been together a year and a half. I'm trying to figure out if there is much there for me to hang on to at all.


It's good to know that other people are out there having similar issues. I wish you good luck.