new here and feeling upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
new here and feeling upset
3
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 8:43pm
I never considered myself to have a HL, but in my relationship now I feel like I do compared to him.In the begining everything was fine , the sex was great and as often as I wanted it to be.Over time it has diminished alot, to the point where a few months ago I started to get paranoid that I wasnt attractive to him anymore, one day I broke down crying asking him why he didnt want me , if he thought I was ugly, fat etc. He told me that he just isnt big on touching , showing affection etc. , I had always known he didnt like public displays of affection but didnt know that it would carry over into the bedroom too.He tells me repeatdly how beutifull I am, treats me with respect, shows me in a thousand ways that he loves me- but not physically.We havnt had sex now for a month,I feel awfull and I dont think that he even realizes its been that long.A few months ago when I mentioned we hadnt had sex in a month he got all upset because I had been "keeping track" , I could tell that he was hurt like I had questioned his manhood because he kept making little comments about it , I decided then that I wouldnt mention anymore how long it has been so I wouldnt hurt his feelings.The thing is , my feelings are hurt, today we had such a nice day , we went wine tasting at a few vinyards and I guess I got a little tipsy and made a move on him.Of course he told me he is tired, and yes it is that time of the month for me etc... so he wasnt in the mood.So I started crying as usual asking if he was attracted to me anymore etc.. We made up and he went out with a friend of his and I am sitting home right now, feeling crappy, what do I do? I love him so much everything in our relationship is so great except this one peice of it.I dont know what to do, I feel rejected and alone right now but I dont want to loose him , Ive never had to deal with this before im hoping someone has some advise for me please.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 12:41pm

Welcome KD...


For starters, I can tell you from personal experience that the wine DEFINATLEY has a place, but it's for when you need to just sit and sulk for a little about the problem. (and there are plenty of times when that's juuuust fine!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:22pm

No offense to locogirl who has many interesting things to contribute, but I don't think she actually coined the term NRE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:06pm

""No offense to locogirl who has many interesting things to contribute, but I don't think she actually coined the term NRE.