I'm going crazy here.
Why thank you :smileywink:
I didn't mean anything rude by my reply.
It may help you to understand that not everyone experiences a relief from stress through sex. Over the years, I've realized w feels more stress during and after sex (and before sex if she's anticipating it) than without it. Several other LL posters on this board have shared similar feelings. I've come to believe that feeling relief from stress due to sex is an HL characteristic. So your H may just be wired differently than you are when it comes to that. Not his fault and not yours.
Yes, she asks me why I put off sex. And she asks me why it was so "sudden". (Are you sure you're not my w?) I don't think it was sudden. I think we've been building up to it for 26 years. And in the last 3 1/2 years especially, I've been making fairly significant personal changes to deal with the ML alone in the absence of her willingness or ability to resolve it with me. When she brings it up, I remind her that I've never been happy or satisfied with our sex life and since she hasn't participated in any solution to that problem, I'm making changes on my own. I tell her I've taken sex off the table so that we can get along better without the strife over ML contaminating every other aspect of our relationship, especially our ability to parent our children. She asks why we can't go back to the way things were four years ago and I tell her I'm not willing to repeat the misery I went through for the first 22 1/2 years of our marraige--I'd rather switch off my sexuality altogether and have no sex
You sound like a very smart woman ( sarcasm )
" Yes we were still planning on have a third whether it's a boy or girl but definitely waiting a little bit more than 16 months and want to get through this financial thing first."
So now you want a 3rd child. Why are you worrying about sex ? Your husband will have sex with you when you are closer to the 16 month mark. Its 8 months ( if I remember correctly from your earlier post ) past and just 8 months more to go .
I kinda knew that the financial thing may play a role in his sex drive but just wanted to see if there might be other reasons.
No, she's not aware of my plan as far as I know. If she were, she would be making life much harder for me, if not initiating the divorce now.
Well, we both decided to have the children.