Old Poster - New Name

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2012
Old Poster - New Name
41
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 1:26pm

Hi Everybody:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:38am

Well TG, I want you to be passionate again!

The trouble with these language patterns and grotty framing is that they can manipulate or trap us in places that are not in our interests to be.

And self-talk is one of the worst.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 4:17pm

"I want you to be passionate again!"

I want to be passionate again as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 11:13am

One of the dangers of staying in a situation, even if you are making personal changes, is that you can become unaware of the costs and damage that are done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 1:51pm

"What if the two of you agree on some innocuous gesture on her part--such as twirling your wedding ring around your finger--is her signal that she's initiating?"

Yes, that's a reasonable progression through the problem solving algorithm, and I tried a couple of different approaches over the years from refrigerator magnets changing position to what perfume she'd wear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 5:04am

Interesting, and shyness can be a significant part of the equation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 4:29pm

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 4:32pm

"Suffice it to say we suffer from the combination of low libido and a painful degree of shyness about sexuality."

Any chance she'll see a therapist out of love for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 9:51am

a woman in 2012

Bizarre to be sure, and illustrates the damage that done in upbringing and societal messages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 10:51am
Mol, one of my coworkers called me on something like this a while back. When I call someone on the phone that I know well, after they say "hello" I say "it's only me" My co-worker was appalled by this habit "ONLY you" she said, that's terrible! I've done it all my life, and my mom does it too (must be where I learned it.) I feel like it's totally innocuous, but maybe it isn't....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 11:13am

I suppose these things vary from mushy fillers to positively poisonous.