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|Wed, 04-20-2011 - 9:10am|
Last weekend in the middle of our umpteen-millionth fight about the lack of frequency and variety in our sex life, I snapped and told my wife that I wanted an open relationship. Suprisingly, she seemed amenable. It's actually something she'd brought up before during fights (not seriously,) and it's actually not at all what I'd prefer--I'm pretty much terrified about what this would do to my kids and my marriage.
But...The status quo seems to be wrecking my family anyway, so I'm now going to try to find a woman in a situation analogous to mine for a friend with benefits relationship. It really sucks that I have to give up time with my kids and wife to try to find someone else to meet my basic needs and who has needs of her own. (Not that my wife doesn't have sexual needs. They just happen to be for a few minutes of missionary position sex three or, if I'm lucky, four times a month.)
I know that some people here have "piece on the side" arrangements. How does it work? I've tried to make it abundantly clear that I would prefer to be monogamous and that it's not like I've been dying to see other women.
What will this do to my family? My wife is LL and insists that she no sexual fantasies. She never masturbated until her mid-20s and she has only ever masturbated a handful of times in her life. Her answer to our mismatch has always been for me to learn to appreciate what I have. Why would she be willing to let me have sex with other women rather than stepping slightly out of her comfort zone?