One sometimes aussumes too much.
I thought there was the situation for some LLs where the quality was indeed good, but that there was no particular urge or desire to do it more often - the sex camel kind of approach where the person drinks deeply then doesn't need to drink again for some while, even if the water tasted good and they were indeed thirsty.
freelancemomma wrote:I stand by my contention that people who arrange their lives so they have very infrequent sex (with a willing partner) do NOT love sex -- either in general or with that partner in particular. They may say they love it, but I don't believe it.
I stand by my contention that people who arrange their lives so they have very infrequent sex (with a willing partner) do NOT love sex -- either in general or with that partner in particular. They may say they love it, but I don't believe it.
This rings true. But it raises another problem. I have asked and asked. Is it me? Is it something I'm doing? Is it something I can change? I'm always told it's not me. It's always something external: dd's bedtime, house isn't tidy enough, or some other such BS. What's a person to believe? None of those external factors, once changed, ever add up to more sex so it's back to me.
So, are (some) LLs deluded about the reasons behind their aversion to sex or are they dishonest? How can we tell the difference?
<>I agree with you that external factors are rarely, if ever, the root cause of lack of interest in sex. So it's either "back to you" or (more likely) a general lack of interest in sex on his part. My theory about LL, especially male LL, is that it has to do with a relative lack of arousability. Perhaps very few things truly get him hot, and perhaps those few things are difficult if not impossible to enact in real life. <>Yes and yes: some deluded, some dishonest. And I have no clue how you would tell the difference. I suppose if a guy struck me as highly insightful in general but displayed a singular lack of insight into his recoil from sex, I'd be inclined to suspect the latter.Just my two cents as always,F.