One sometimes aussumes too much.
Probably the arousability is an important element.
For DW, I do believe that, at least sometimes, the experience is extremely pleasurable and the quality (emotional quality) is good.
However, it is ultimately discretionary for her, in part because spontaneous arousal (and arousability) is low.
"the fun that comes when things aren't perfect"
freelancemomma wrote:None of your reasons for refraining from engaging in sex would apply to a LL. When you avoid sex, it's because you fear your WIFE's reaction would get you down. The LL in a ML relationship has no such fear. F.
Actually, an LL can have the fear that our HL partner's reaction would get us down.
freelancemomma wrote:I stand by my contention that people who arrange their lives so they have very infrequent sex (with a willing partner) do NOT love sex -- either in general or with that partner in particular. They may say they love it, but I don't believe it.
I stand by my contention that people who arrange their lives so they have very infrequent sex (with a willing partner) do NOT love sex -- either in general or with that partner in particular. They may say they love it, but I don't believe it.
"I think she believes that makes the orgasm better for me"
How conveniently thoughtful of her.
Like you, this is an untrue statement for me, and the food-tastes-better-when-you're-starving argument has some pretty short limits for me when applied to sex.
mirandarr8 wrote:>>Interesting. For me, the intensity of an orgasm has a near-linear relationship with the time since the last orgasm<<I have about a zillion factors that affect intensity of orgasm, but there is a time since last orgasm factor. As well as time of the month, length of stimulation time, type of stimulation (intercourse, vibrators, g-spot, etc etc) and then undefinable things too. I just never KNOW if I will orgasm at all, or how difficult it will be to get there, or how good it will be when I do. Which is why a lot of times it feels like it's "not worth the bother" because it's not bankable that it will be "great" it may be "meh" or may not be attainable at all. And the process doesn't really do anything for me. For DH the "process" is pleasurable, even if no orgasm is resultant. For me the process is unpleasant, so there you have a HL/LL dichotomy.
I'm odd in that frequency between or amount of stimulation to get there doesn't change thequality of the orgasm I have on any real level.