Reason for Sex ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Reason for Sex ??
43
Mon, 04-11-2011 - 1:47pm

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 9:52am

I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, lean protein or plant based protein...I don't look forward to eating, per se...food isn't enjoyment, it's fuel (to me)...

It's so expensive! We've recently made a switch to more fruit & fish.

I made angel food cake to have with fruit & thick greek yogurt, instead of icing.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 10:18am

This is truly "making love" versus just having sex (which I don't seem to be able to do very well anyway).

Would it be prying if you finished that thought ?? Don't do what well ...

What I don't do well is just have sex as opposed to making love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 1:25pm
Tiptoeing- I don't think the loss of control is due to physical pleasure, or at least not that all alone. I have had plenty of one night stands and it's not the same. Intercourse isn't required either, since we can't do that. But holding hands or sitting close, while nice, doesn't elicit the same response.

We'll be laying around in bed, watching tv, on the laptop, reading, texting, whatever, and then we lock eyes and just like that it's on. The frenzied kissing, tearing clothes off, touching each other's bodies. All I can think about in that moment is being as close to him as I can, and I don't want it to end. Everything else in the world just ceases to exist for a little while.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 2:01pm
I find it almost impossible to adequately put into words, but it's like a dam breaking, or a mushroom cloud. It's fast and uncontrollable, and over a year later it has not lost any intensity. It doesn't matter if I have an orgasm or not because that isn't what causes it. It's completely independant of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 2:49pm

It doesn't matter if I have an orgasm or not because that isn't what causes it. It's completely independant of that.

??

Causes what? Sex causes a mushroom cloud without orgasm?

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 3:10pm
It's like this huge rush of emotion combined with physical closeness all at once. It's definitely sexual, but there doesn't need to be actual sex for it to feel that way. It's the best feeling in the world. I wish I could better explain what I mean.

You know in movies when there is all this sexual tension between two characters, and then suddenly something just snaps and they start making out like high schoolers? It sort of "looks" like that. What that feels like for me is this huge rush. It's better than any other high I have experienced, from anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 3:38pm

>> What that feels like for me is this huge rush. It's better than any other high I have experienced, from anything. .<<

I'm betting you've never done cocaine....lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 4:09pm

<< Sex causes a mushroom cloud without orgasm? >>

I'd settle for either, or

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 4:15pm
For me, sex is all about validation. Being accepted. A feeling of competence. It is almost entirely about her experience. Hardly at all about physical sensation.

Frankly, for pure physical sensation, masturbation is frequently better and much more reliable than partner sex. Maybe that is because I never had the guts to proposition a good lover. Or because I have never "let myself go" to have the hot sex I crave.

For me, sex is all tied up in my lack of self-confidence. I seek sex to show that I have value. But since I rarely have sex, all it does is confirm my lack of value.

When you see it coming, duck!

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 4:20pm

>>>>> I have to question if fundamentally if sex didn't feel good physically if the emotional and spiritual would make up that difference? <<<<<

For me, I had plenty of lousy sex and the emotional and spiritual part more than made up for it. These days, with the emotional and spiritual part absent, even some of my better physical performances leave me with a bad feeling.

Zejayge wrote something comparing food and diet with sex and

When you see it coming, duck!