Sexlessness

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sexlessness
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 11:39am

Hi all. Its been about 6 months since I've posted or even looked at this board.

History of us:
We've been together for over 4 years. Dated for a month, she move two hours away so we only saw each other on the weekend for 3.5 years. My job in her local never panned out. Finally moved in together last fall. Sex has only gotten worse.

Latest Developement:
I had to drive gf downtown yesterday and we were talking about general things. I don't know how the subject came up. I told her that I loved her but was miserable with our sex life. Later that night we talked about it some more. Once every one to three weeks was making me completely miserable. I expressed my concerns that, despite her saying so, I didn't think that it was ever going to get better. First, we were going to have more sex after we moved in together. Now it's after her class finishes later this year. I said I doubted it would change because I didn't think the desire was there. If it was she would find time and energy to do it more in the present. More sex wouldn't make things better if she wasn't into it. It would just be no fun for either of us. I said that I wish she wanted me as much as I wanted her. She agreed with everything I had to say but didn't add anything of her own. She knew that I've been horny since the weekend when she had two orgasms and I had none (another story). So she ended up sleeping on the couch. First time that has happened because of sex.

I think we are at a turning point in our relationship. The lines of communication on this reluctant subject are open. Things could either get better or worse. I don't know which but at least we are making progress towards something instead of wallowing in the word of the day...say it with me...misery.