Sole Source of Satisfaction?
Find a Conversation
|Fri, 01-16-2009 - 5:23pm|
In post 8494.4, janipurr recommended an interesting piece on porn and relationships, including some interesting comments by readers. Thanks for the post, janipurr. One comment I found interesting:
"The viewing of porn in and of it's self is not the issue. The problem arises when one partner uses porn as their sexual outlet, instead of having sex with their partner. It is very difficult to feel sexually close to your partner when you are aware of their preference for porn on the internet, instead of sex with you."
I thought about this in relationship to a period of time in which I was using porn and told my DLLW about it. This was her fundamental concern about it--its displacement of her as my sole sexual outlet. Yet, it always struck me as inconsistent that she would want to limit our sexual interaction and still insist on being my sole sexual outlet when no other person was involved. On some level I thought (maybe hoped?) she would feel relieved that some of the pressure and attention was off her.
I can certainly understand her wanting to be the center of my attention (as I want to be the center of hers), but I thought it cruel and inconsistent to deny someone a secondary outlet when you know you can't supply all the satisfaction they seek. I felt like she was saying, "If you don't get satisfaction from me, you're not to have it at all even if you can find a source that's not another person...and by the way