taking things into my hands

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
taking things into my hands
8
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 9:41am

My wife often doesn't want to have sex for a variety of reasons...some of them because she doesn't feel good, too tired, etc. I've started masturbating about 3x a week to satisfy myself. We are both in our early fifties and she says she is tired a lot. I'm still into sex and want to have it often.

I guess my question to anyone reading is if they think this is odd for a man in his fifties.

The other day I was at the gym and masturbated in the shower. I never had an orgasm but tried. Has anyone done this in a somewhat public place; I guess I was trying to add a bit of difference to my solo sex routine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2008
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 4:53pm

Hello manunit,


I fully understand where you are coming from. I am 49 and until the past few months I would masturbate regularly, but now my wife who is 46 has regained her interest in sex.

tennisjunkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 4:57pm
I agree 100% tennis...as a matter of fact...both of my husband's physicians have told us (urologist and cardiologist) that for a man my husband's age (early 60s) it is not "normal" to not have an interest...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2008
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 6:29pm
You just gave me
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 6:32pm
...I am sure that it goes right on down the drain with the dead skin cells and soap scum...but, I do have a gross shower story...back in the day...like 18 and a half years ago...I had to share a bathroom with another new mother after giving birth...our bathroom was between our separate rooms...I had just taken the most wonderfully long shower after she had taken hers and I heard her on the phone telling someone..."my roids are as big as baseballs and I can only pee in the shower..."...nice...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 8:17pm

I guess my question to anyone reading is if they think this is odd for a man in his fifties.


Does it matter what's "odd"? "Normal" is a wide range of behaviors like the spectrum of light. I would think your behaviors, preferences and urges fall easily within that spectrum. Even if it didn't, why worry about it? You like what you like. Why worry about what other people like?


The other day I was at the gym and masturbated in the shower. I never had an orgasm but tried. Has anyone done this in a somewhat public place; I guess I was trying to add a bit of difference to my solo sex routine.


If I were you, I'd be cautious about doing anything that could get you arrested or could cause you to lose your gym membership, however. ;-) Even though we like what we like and do what we like, there are manners and health codes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 12:49am

tennis,

Thanks for responding. My wife will sometimes give me a hand job but not always. She has started not doing it more than doing it. She usually tell me to just go ahead and wait until she feels better. I hope it changes.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:05am
Try to keep everything in perspective.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 11:26am

hello manunit,


I am no Dr. Phil, but I think you and your wife have a chance to regain the sexual closeness that you once had.


I found that rather than pout about not getting any, just be the best husband I could be. Almost win her heart again. In our 25 years of marriage our sex life has gone from the highest high to almost nothing. For years even when we did have sex, it was her just doing her "wifely duty" There was no passion to speak of.


She has gone through a lot of female health issues as well as depression. For the most part it is all behind her. In recent months we have re-connected and our sex life as well as our marriage could not be stronger.


One thing that I do is called choreplay. I try and do as much around the house so she does not have to. Having great sex starts long before you go to bed. I am not saying you are not doing your part, but just try stepping it up and see what happens.


I wish you both well.

tennisjunkie
tennisjunkie