Very confused: cause for ultimatum?
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|Thu, 07-03-2008 - 9:57pm|
Hey all! This may seem silly, but I'm going to throw this out anyway. I've been with a guy for almost a year. We get on fabulously: great partnership, except for the bedroom area. And the problem is: my boyfriend doesn't want sex very much. Bit of a background: I'm 30, he's 26, been living together since March, known each other for about a year, been "together' for 10 months. Yeah, we moved in early, I know. I do a LOT for this guy.....he in a bit of a financial bind, I allow him to live without paying rent, only utilities and food. I do a lot more for him than he does for me (it's a strain to get him to even kiss me, 99% of the time I initiate kisses and/or request them, yes I know, tres pathetic). He exhibits appreciation for what I do now and then, yet the intimacy is severely lacking. And then the sex....well, it's great when it happens....yet it happens on average once every two weeks. Granted we've had guests and have been travelling a few times the last few months, so to be fair I'll say sex is once a week, but tops. SO............. how is the best, more mature way to approach this? I'm a pretty darn great girlfriend (I won't elaborate on stuff I do for this guy), I'm intelligent, financially stable, ambitious, going on to earn my Ph.d, generous, et cetera. I realized I built up some resentment over the last few months over this, and I want to get rid of that and talk with him about this in a way that's effective, in one way or another (whether for better or worse; I realize potential consequences). What do you think? This can't be normal, or is it? He's in awesome shape, a great looking guy, seems like his libido should be healthy at least. I know he's been under stress with work and money, but I've tried to alleviate that by helping him out with the rent, which I totally cover. After almost a year, I feel like telling him I can't do this if sex is so seldom. Sounds superficial and selfish, but at the same time it doesn't feel wrong to feel this way. I'm pretty confused. If anyone has any input from an outside, objective and rational standpoint, I would appreciate that so much!! Thanks for listening....