What happens in Vegas...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
What happens in Vegas...
30
Sat, 07-25-2009 - 6:54pm

So you all know my story, I suppose. Monday is our 24th anniversary. Typically, we go away for a long weekend together to celebrate. This year, I didn't want to ruin the trip for myself (and sometimes her) by going with the expectation of

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 07-25-2009 - 11:01pm
Oh boy. This may get ugly. She got home this afternoon and she's upset with the housekeeping and parenting I did while she was gone. It must be agonizing to be that kind of control freak.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 9:31am

tell her you did the best you could and leave it at that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 6:05pm

If at all possible, try and go with no expectations at all...that way, if anything does happen you can be pleasantly surprised.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 9:03pm
Thanks for the ideas, amom and vamp. I'm going to do my level best to forget it's an anniversary trip or that there might be romance or sex of any kind and just enjoy being away from home on vacation in a fun town. We've already had conversations about spending Tuesday night's dinner (probably our only dinner there) with her parents instead of alone. I protested, but I'm just going to go with the flow from now on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 9:27pm
Let her have dinner with her parents, you go have dinner wherever you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 9:49pm

Great input and great question:


why did you pick a place with so many relatives?


She didn't tell me her parents would be visiting Las Vegas while we were there until after she told me about the dinner invitation. *eyeroll*


In fact, since she took upon herself to arrange the lodging, I wouldn't be surprised if her parents are staying in the same condo we are. *more eyerolling*


I think I may be staying

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 8:58am
Did you ask her why she hadn't told you about her parents being there before or did you just let it go? I wouldn't just let that go without a good explanation -- and I doubt there is one in this case. That is part of asserting yourself and not letting her walk all over you like you seem prone to do.
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 10:15am

I agree with amom and magna. Time to man up. Time to get the book No More Mr. Nice Guy and do the breaking free exercises. Time to grab hold of your eggs and tell her to back off. So far in your marriage she has learned she can push you around. And she thinks she enjoys doing that. But I bet deep down she is disappointed. You need to show her that what she would really enjoy is a man she can respect. A man who does not let her push him around.

I know I am at my unhappiest when I let Mrs. Hold push me around. You may fear that fighting would be worse than avoiding conflict. In all likelihood it won't be worse. For either of you. Even if she stops getting her way.

When you see it coming, duck!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 10:44am

<>

I sense a smidgen of bitterness/resentment/resignation in that statement. My suggestion to you would be to go on the trip with lightness of heart -- that is, no expectation AND no resentment. Don't make your wife feel bad for being who she is, and remember that a background expectation of "nonstop sex" would be a burden for all but the highest-libido women.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 10:52am
Thanks for your input, everyone! I appreciate it very much.

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