18 and extremely LL
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|Wed, 09-16-2009 - 6:13pm|
I am 19 now, turned yesterday. For the last....year or so...I have had a terribly low libido. I have talked to my general doctor-who changed my antidepressant, my gynecologist- who brushed it off as fear of STDs and pregnancy (seriously? come on.) and my counselor-who says that it is because of trust issues with my partner.
i have been with my boyfriend for over three years now-and we had sex quite a bit in the beginning of our relationship. it then proceeded to decline to once or twice a week for the majority of the time we were together, which was doable for both of us. The last year has just gotten worse and worse. Currently, we are on our longest stretch without sex: 5 days short of 3 months.
I dont know for sure what this is all about. I theorize that it could be that i started having sex too young (15,) and it damaged my sex drive...or that (my mom has been terribly sick with cancer and actually passed away a week and a half ago) my emotions and stress has made it impossible for me to consider sex, or finally, that our relationship issues (we are generally happy with each other, but...) such as his intense distrust and insecurity or my pulling within myself. another theory that he has is that we've become too much of best friends and less of sexual partners. i dont know if any--or all-- of these are true, but i do know something needs to be done.
i could easily go without sex for another year and not think twice about it, but i have to think about it because he brings it up quite a bit. (he tries not to pester me, but he simply CANNOT understand.) he takes it very personally but i dont know how to explain that its not him. however, lately i have been having more sexual interest-but not necessarily in having sex. (i dont know if this makes sense.)
PLEASE help me! i dont necessarily have bad self esteem or think im unattractive...but i am very reserved when it comes to sex-i am not comfortable doing anything out of the norm. also, when i do have sex i want it to be over quick, but i attribute that with me not wanting to do it very much. i think that me doing it just for him also hurts my labido.
please, please, please give me some hints! all of the "professionals" that i've spoken to haven't really taken me seriously, but this is really affecting my relationship and hurting my boyfriend. oh, it might be important to tell you that i've never climaxed and i have only masturbated once or twice and didn't really gain anything from it.
thank you so much for your help.
Edited 9/16/2009 6:44 pm ET by shanahan09