bipolar libido?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2010
bipolar libido?
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:27pm


I am really frustrated with myself lately because my super LL is aggravating the best relationship I've ever had. What's most frustrating is that I am definitely not always LL, just usually. I know this is extra-frustrasting for my partner because I was fairly HL when we starting dating, and he knows my history of being "slutty" (which usually happens only when I am in an emotionally awful place. I explained this to him but I am not sure if he understands). I still have times here and there when I really want to have sex, but he wants to like eight times more often at least. Its the times that I am really into it that he wants, though, and we both get disappointed quickly if I try to just go along with it when I'm not feeling it.

Lately I'm not feeling it, at all, ever. I know I can go months at a time without wanting sex (and even finding it uncomfortable and anxious), but I don't feel it is fair to him.

I have no idea why my body goes back and forth like this. Is this normal? Am I right to find it unfair to my partner?

Please, if anyone has any ideas on how to get myself back into a high or at least reasonable libido which I know is possible, let me know.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 8:23am

Go and get your estrogen and testosterone levels checked. Your relationship is on a rocky road, and I would be checking out if there's a medical reason that this is happening, and would be pulling out all the stops to find out if there's medical treatment that could help you. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 5:22pm

You might want to look into all the different things that influence libido and work on the most likely ones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 3:49pm
...tell him that you can go for months without having sex...and, then end the relationship...especially if both of you are disappointed when you have sex that you aren't really "in to"...