Calling all LL males!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Calling all LL males!
11
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 1:43pm
I just want to see if any really do exist. After reading many articles I am coming to the conclusion that LL males usually have either a physical or health problem, age or psychological issue or problem. Now I know LL females exist but not sure if this can be a males issue unless it is for a period of time due to depression or high stress. Just want at least one LL male under the age of 50 to respond to let me know they do exist and it is not because of any of the problems listed above. If no one replies I am yet to wonder Hmmmmmmmm....

 

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Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 1:52pm
I am confident that LL males exist. I am not so confident you will ever get one to admit it publicly. Moreover, they aren't likely to hang out at a place like this. We have few enough female LLs here. I am not sure the absence of LL males here proves anything except that LL males don't frequent discussion boards where people talk about sex.

When you see it coming, duck!

Avatar for feelingalone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 2:01pm

My DH LL issues started a long time before his health issues...it definately exists in my life. We had a pretty active sex life for years before I went on the pill and became LL. Once I went off it many years later... I realized what I was doing and by then he had become LL due to my constant rejections to him, when he got a vasectomy so I could go off the pill. For five years after that, it was me that was trying to spark our sex life and he had no interest. We had sex only six times in that five years. None at all for the following five years when he developed diabeties and ADHD diagnoisis at the same time of stress at work... etc etc...It's been eight years since we last had sex which started out to be LL on his part not due to health issues.

"I just want to see if any really do exist."

BTW... have you read the postings on "LL in men a mirage" ? There were enough people posting there that can tell you they definately do exist!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 2:58pm
I am not a male so I have no idea what it like to be one but why is it that many women would admit to having LL but you can't find any men. And, the men that do have sex problems usually have other reasons than just not feeling sexual. Do men just hide that fact because of society. I have never in my entire life heard of a man who has ADMITTED himself that he just isn't into sex. That is for men under a certain age. I have no idea how older men passed the age of 50 feel. I have no friends in that age range that have talked about such issues. As I understand you said your H has health reasons now.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 3:05pm
That post is what got me into reading more about it. There is hardly any research or even literature about this topic out there that I could find. Perhaps, you can direct me to something. I understand these women stories but there is no way of knowing if other reasons don't apply to their H's not being more sexual with them. My H and I had this very same problem and I chalked it up to LL because I have had times when I have been LL myself. Later, I found that he had much bigger issues. Same goes with two other friends and one family member of mine. All different reason, but there were reasons. Anyways, I was hoping just to find 1 so I could have some idea that yes they are out there. Doesn't mean they do not exist but would give me hope that yes they do and pay little attention to the post that was in fact posted. Please just want to hear from one and I understand that it may be embarrassing to admit for a male so I do take that into consideration.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 4:16pm

I seriously don't get why with men we always want to say it is something else, but with women we accept that they are just LL. Why is not always something else with women too? My husband has been tested and treated for just about anything that might be a factor in making him LL. He is in therapy. He will admit that he just does not have that much of a sex drive. He likes having it, but does not see a big push to have it. Physically he is healthy. He had periods in life that he had ED, but it was more a effect of the LL than a cause. He "talked" himself into not being able to perform because he knew I had a higher libido and that he could not keep up. He admits it was all mental.

The reason many LL men don't admit it is because society says they should like sex. I see where many LL women get the same signals from society, but it is much easier for a woman to find another woman who also has a LL and does not really enjoy sex. Especially when married, it is "normal" for a woman not to feel like having sex all the time, or at least it is accepted that the man be the one to dominate sexually. Most men don't like being dominated by women in any circumstances, let alone the bed. The male has always been seen as the dominate one in the relationship and to admit that they have no libido goes against that norm.

The lack of LL men on this board does not mean that they do not exist any more than the lack of women who only will have sex in the missionary position on the Taboo board means that they don't exist. You are asking in the wrong forum.

Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 4:48pm
On this board, a few years ago a LL man posted one or two posts. I cannot find them, but someone with the advanced search may be able to. His name was nonaverageguy or something like that.
Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 7:39pm
Hello Mom-faith. I am a LL male. I have had some medical problems, however, I do have a lower libido than my wife. I just wanted to introduce myself and say that I think, overall, guys are under-represented here and a true split of LL and HL guys are here. We are out there. Anyway, Thanks for the opportunity. Feel free to write and I will moniter this and help to answer any questions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 7:58pm
Thanks!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 3:29pm
My boyfriend is 35 and he definitely has a low libido. I always have to initiate sex. We've been together for a year and a half and have been living together for 9 months. He's always been this way with me and the 3 other women he's ever slept with. It's very hard sometimes because it makes me feel undesirable. Even when I initiate sex I have to light a fire under his ass to get him to come to me. I suppose the only nice thing about it is that when I do initiate sex he's ready and willing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 11:54am

I am a male and I have a LL. Feels like a greeting for a support group...

Anyway, it started about 8 years ago when my wife was going through some medical issues. She has finally recovered but I have not. With the exception of a 3 or 4 day period about 2 months ago, I have barely been able to do anything with my beautiful (and very patient) wife in over 4 years.

Please feel free to ask me questions.

Thanks

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